Tag Archives: mcdonald’s

Shitty Restaurants: Cheddar’s

I watched an episode of Kitchen Nightmares once where Chef Gordon Ramsey was at some shit hole trying to help them make it work. One of the biggest problems they had was their “chef” who wasn’t very good at cooking. To test him, Chef Ramsey asked him to make an omelette. He couldn’t.

You see, Chef Ramsey asked the guy to make something simple. Not some sort of French duck dish. A fucking omelette. And he couldn’t do it.

This is how all restaurants should be judged, and this is how I judge all that I go to. I have certain things that I order, depending on what kind of restaurant I go to. My wife yells at me for never trying new things. But, it’s all part of my master plan. You see, among all other kinds of restaurants, if I go to a place that sells burgers, I order a burger. Specifically, a mushroom swiss burger, if they serve them. And if they can’t do that right, then why the hell would I want to order anything else from them?

Burgers are as American as American gets. They’re so American that on any given street where businesses abound, you can have three fast food burger joints lined up next to each other, and a new place will open across the street also selling burgers. Burgers are a staple. Anybody who cooks food of any kind should know how to cook a hamburger correctly. It’s not hard.

It is literally this easy. Take yourself however much ground beef you need. A quarter pound, third pound, half pound, whatever. You smoosh it with your hands until it resembles a patty. You cook it. It’s done. Sometimes you can even go all out and season it with a sprinkle of salt and pepper on each side while it cooks.

Now, was that so fucking hard? If you go to a sit down place, it shouldn’t take but 5 to 10 minutes for you to get your hamburger after you order it, depending on how busy the place is. They don’t take long to cook, and they’re easy to cook. And if you’re really good at making them, they don’t even need a lot of TLC. Once they’re on the grill, you literally only have to flip them once. I had a girlfriend who was like that.

The reason I bring this up is, my wife and I decided to try a new place that opened up here a couple years ago called Cheddar’s. Since I’m a fan of cheese and the name of the place is one of my favorite cheeses, I thought this would be a no brainer. Besides, the place looks awesome.

We had a date day one day and decided to eat there before going to see a movie. I saw they had a mushroom swiss burger and promptly ordered that, while getting the business from my wife about always ordering the same shit. She ordered fried chicken strips. I’m pretty sure we ordered an appetizer, like a quesadilla or something, but it wasn’t good enough for me to remember if we actually did order one or not.

Cheddar’s are located all over the mid-west. That doesn’t mean they’re good, it just means they’re a chain. Same could be said for Applebee’s. Fuck Applebee’s.
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What Happened, Burger King?

When I was growing up, up until I was a late teen, Burger King was the shit. I would always pick them over any other fast food burger joint, including McDonald’s. And then, sometime in the mid to late 90s, they decided they were going to change their fries. Everyone was pissed. Their new fries came out, and people were on the fence about them, but Burger King continued to be a pretty good place to eat.

I started to get used to the new fries, but I still wasn’t happy about them. I had no other choice though. If I was going to eat at Burger the King, I was just going to have to deal. But then, a couple years later, they decided they were going to change their fries yet again. And yet again, this pissed me off. It only showed to me that Burger King had no idea what they were doing.

And then the burgers started tasting bad. Too much of the flame broiled flavor was being added to the burgers and after eating one I’d be burping up flame broiled flavor for the next day or two. So, much like the rest of America, I stopped eating at Burger King.

Oh yeah, that’s totally a flavor added to their burgers. Don’t let them lie to you. Their burgers are sent to their restaurants frozen, pre-cooked, and they have those grilled lines on them added for the look, just like the flavor is added for the taste. Neither have anything to do with the actual cooking of the burgers.

I don’t know how well they’re doing in other parts of the country, or the world, but around here they’re terrible, and have been for many years. Well over a decade. Every time I pass by one I see no business, when all other restaurants around them are busy as hell. I just can’t figure out how they’re staying in business.

On a side note, I was working in Mason, Ohio for a while and in one spot there are two of damn near everything right down the street from one another. Including Burger King. I thought that was special, considering one barely gets business, now they got two eating into each other’s business. Well apparently one of them closed recently. SURPRISE SURPRISE.

I see a commercial every now and then for Burger King, as they continue to promote their business, and their food, and they continue to come out with new items and specials. Yet I continue to always see no business as I drive by.

Recently Burger King announced they were going to start selling Mac N Cheetos and the internet collectively lost its shit. While die-hard Burger King lovers were still completely pissed (including myself) at the fact that they got rid of their tater tots with the cheese in the middle, everyone seemed to be excited about the Mac N Cheetos. The fattie in everybody was happy.

An orgasm for your food hole.

An orgasm for your food hole.


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McDonald’s Employees Need More Money

Despite what some may feel, the United States minimum wage should be almost $22 an hour. That’s what reports, and those of us making minimum wage, say.

Some states have just passed bills raising their own minimum wage to $15 an hour, which is nice and definitely better than $7.25. But in all of the other places where minimum wage is that disgusting $7.25, people are pissed. Namely, those working for McDonald’s, the world’s largest fast food chain.

And I get it. I’m a minimum wage kinda guy myself. Not that I want to be, but eh, shit happens. Recently, Micky D’s CEO Don Thompson said their wages are perfect just where they are and fuck what his employees think. Maybe not in those words, but when you’re making over $9 million a year, you can say whatever the fuck you want.
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Work At McDonald’s! Get Paid To Be An Asshole!

I love the internet and blogs. If it weren’t for them I’d be stuck calling businesses who pissed me off and yelling at management until I got free stuff snail mailed to me, like coupons and what not. I used to do that shit all the time back in the day, before I was able to get online. And most of the times I wouldn’t even let them send me shit. I’m not one of those people. All I want is for them to hire competent employees. Is that too much to ask? If you’re getting paid, do the fucking job. I don’t care how terrible the job is. If you’re accepting money for it, do the fucking job.

And let me tell you, customer service isn’t hard to get. Seriously. I fucking hate customer service because customers are idiots most of the time, but I’m fucking excellent at customer service. Because it’s not hard. And it pisses me off that I am considering how much I hate customers. It’s the best job for me and it blows.

Regardless, companies who hire morons need to hear about it. I was once an integral part in the closing of a Taco Bell, because I called not only their store, but their main HQ to complain about their shit. All of it. No matter how little or big. It got to be a game for me. Wanna fuck with my shit? I’m paying you for your service. If you cannot give me the service you were hired to give, uh, fuck you.

So now that I am online, I don’t have to call. No, I just come onto my blog here and bitch away. I find it’s much more soothing. Plus, I get to warn the tens of people who read this where not to go should they find themselves in the area. With that said, here we go.

I swear to whatever holy being you believe in that McDonald’s goes out of their way to hire the worst humans on the planet. Over the years I’ve had their employees, at many different locations, do something to piss me off for really no reason at all other than they’re idiots who value their own lives so little that they have to make everyone else suffer.

I thought I was used to it. I know what to expect at McDonald’s. Nothing good, and a lot of it. A place where their food containers give more of a shit about my experience than the mouth breathing employees they pay to work at their stores.

Recently my wife and I had an issue with one McDonald’s in particular that unfortunately we go to from time to time. We stopped in and ordered a couple of double cheeseburgers. That’s like, some of the simplest things they could make, right? How do you fuck up easy stuff? Leave it to them.

One of my wife’s double cheeseburgers had no meat on it. Someone made it and somehow forgot to put the main fucking ingredient on it. Her second burger had a long hair in it. I guess to make up for the lack of meat in the first one.

She called to complain and was told we should go see the manager when she got off of work and we would be given a free breakfast. More product. Fuck giving our money back, right? We were told to see the manager, Connie, and she would hook us up.

When we got there we asked to see the manager, Connie. It turned out to be an older woman who I’ve dealt with many times, and she’s always a delight to deal with, in the way an Imperial Siege Tank driving slowly back and forth through your ass would be.

Don't tense up. That'll only make it worse. starwars.wikia.com

Don’t tense up. That’ll only make it worse. starwars.wikia.com

Connie helped us, and as per usual it was reluctantly and seemed to be an absolute bother.

Well, this morning I stopped in to get breakfast. I wasn’t thrilled about it, but I knew what I was getting into. And hooray for me, she was working. Let me start at the beginning.

I pulled up to the drive-through speaker and placed my order. When I was done I then remembered I wanted a couple of cups of ranch for dipping whatever I had into it. You know, it helps the food go down. So I tacked that onto the order and I saw on the drive-through screen where the girl taking my order had put it on the order, although it only said ranch dipping sauce and the price showed 0.00. I knew that wasn’t right, because they’re 25 cents a piece. I pulled around and paid at the first window, then I pulled up to the second window and discovered Connie there. Yay.

This is a woman who, one night, apologized for the long delay in getting my order to me. Fourteen minutes, actually. She said it was because she had to make fresh fries. Apparently growing the potato was the first step. I would have taken old fries.

After just a moment she finally opens the window with my bag in her hand, hands it to me rather quickly and then starts to close the window before I can even think to say anything. I finally caught her and asked her for some ketchup. Her body language showed me she had a gun to her head all night and my request for ketchup had just helped her decide to pull the trigger. Oh man, I’m sure she wished death upon my unborn children.

When she turned to get the ketchup I searched my bags contents for the ranch and found none. When she opened the window again to hand me the ketchup I then said how I’d like two cups of ranch. She looked away from me and said “I’m going to have to charge you for them.”

No shit. NO FUCKING SHIT. Thank you for telling me, I was unaware that I had to pay for product from a business. Especially one hellbent on making all the money.

I responded with, “Yeah, that’s fine, but I had ordered it and I saw it on the screen back there…” and before I was done saying that she cut me off and said, “Yes, but she didn’t charge you for it.”

Oh? So you saw it on the order. You know I ordered it. You must know I wanted it just by that fact alone. Yet when you handed me the bag you were intent on closing that window and going about your business without saying anything to me about the ranch. You were going to let me leave and go to my destination only to discover what I ordered wasn’t in the bag. Instead of saying, “Hey, I know you wanted ranch but she didn’t charge you for it. If you’d still like the ranch it will cost 25 cents per cup.” She could have even said, “I didn’t put your ranch in there because she didn’t charge you. Would you still like it? It will only be 50 cents.”

The entire problem here isn’t that I didn’t pay for it, it’s that HER EMPLOYEE didn’t charge me for it. She put it on the order. My job at that point was done. Her employee fucked up, not me.

“Yes, but she didn’t charge you for it.”

I responded with, “I understand that but I still want the ranch, that’s why I ordered it. I’ll pay for it.” Holy shit, she emptied the clip. She turned around and got the ranch and when she came back to the window she opened it and handed me the ranch without looking at me. I gave her a dollar bill and sped off. Thank god we went through all of that shit. Now their location won’t close and they can pay their utility bills. And since I paid double for the ranch, maybe they’ll be able to put some away for a rainy day.

I know some people say how you don’t know everybody’s story. You don’t know what made them that way. Maybe they had a horrible life. Maybe they just had a horrible day. Well, I fucking hope so. Let’s not forget she’s apparently a manager. And I don’t care how horrible your life is, don’t take it out on those not responsible for it. I didn’t make your life suck so much that you had to work at a McDonald’s in your old age. Don’t take it out on me.

McDonald’s, I had it with your shit many years ago. I truly don’t want to eat at your stores any more than your employees want to do their jobs or give decent customer service. But you know what? Unfortunately I’ll keep eating at your stores, so unfortunately you’ll have to attempt decent customer service. Lucky for me you have a store on every corner, so I can just pick and choose until I find which ones I’ll suffer at the least.

PS – When your Brentwood, OH location burned down I laughed. And dammit all, you rebuilt that fucker.

PPS – Come to think of it, pretty much every fast food place on that road sucks. Waffle House is your best bet. Seriously.

Wendy’s Is A Pile Of Shit

I know fast food isn’t good for anybody. It is what it is, cheap(ish) food fast(ish). I’ve had problems with every kind of fast food place, especially around here, from Burger King to McDonald’s to Taco Bell. Well, let’s add another to the list. Wendy’s (as if you couldn’t tell from the name of this blog) is a heaping pile of flaming shit.

We have one location very near our house, at 8240 Vine Street in Hartwell, Cincinnati, OH. Like, I could walk there in five minutes. If there wasn’t a grocery store at the end of my street, I could see the Wendy’s from my porch. My wife and I spend a lot of money there, because they’re right there and open late. Since we both work third shift, they’re one of few places open where we can grab a quick bite to eat before work. We could go to White Castle or Taco Bell or McDonald’s, but fuck those places. Well, fuck Wendy’s, too.

I don’t know where we’re going to get food from now, if anywhere. Maybe this is a sign that we should stop eating fast food all together and start packing our own food.

Here’s what happened. For starters, this particular Wendy’s has a history of sucking. I’ve been going to it my entire life. Before my wife and I lived in this house my grandmother did, so if I was going to visit her with my mom, sometimes we’d stop at that Wendy’s and grab some sandwiches for our visit. I can remember when I was a kid my mom would be complaining that they screwed something up. And now they do it so much it’s almost like they’re required to by the company to meet monthly quotas. I literally think their managers get weekly bonuses for fucking peoples orders up.

My wife likes to order their Junior Bacon Cheeseburgers, except she likes to add tomatoes and pickles to the sandwiches. Never mind the tomatoes for a minute, which is a recent addition to the sandwiches, since we’ve been going there and she’s been getting the JBC, she’s been adding pickles. She loves Wendy’s pickles, so she has them add extra pickles. The first time we asked for extra pickles the lady taking our order said, “They don’t come with pickles.” My exact response was, “So add pickles, and then put extra on them.” Is it that fucking hard to figure out? Holy shit.

Ever since then we’ve had issues getting a thing as simple as pickles added to the JBC. For a time we’d ask for them on the side, and that worked well for a while. We’d actually get them.

Recently I looked at the back of a receipt and found that if I went to their website and submitted feedback I could get $2 off a large sandwich on my next visit, so that’s what I did. They have a new sandwich out now, the Bacon Portabella Melt, which I can’t lie, is very fucking tasty.

This is not an ad. Wendy's does not sponsor me or my opinion.

This is not an ad. Wendy’s does not sponsor me or my opinion.

No, I won’t lie about the sandwich, which is what Wendy’s does. The mushrooms they use are not Portabella mushrooms. Side note, those mushrooms are typically spelled “Portobello,” but who gives a shit? Anyway, the mushrooms they use are regular fuck off mushrooms that can be purchased in a can at your local grocery store for less than a dollar.

This small can typically costs 75 cents or less.

This small can typically costs 75 cents or less.

I buy those mushrooms all the time. They’re good for cheapy mushrooms. And they taste exactly like those mushrooms on that Wendy’s sandwich. For those of you who don’t eat mushrooms or have never had Portobello mushrooms, Portobello mushrooms have a very distinct taste. They’re delicious, and they taste nothing like those regular mushrooms in a can. And the mushrooms on the burger at Wendy’s taste nothing like Portobello, nor do they share the size of Portobello mushrooms. You can see in the picture above that is the case. One Portobello mushroom is typically bigger than that entire can of mushrooms from Kroger.

Anyway, I decided I’d do the survey and get $2 off one of those sandwiches, because those sandwiches are awesome. I told Wendy’s everything I just said, about how we eat there upwards of three to four times a week and how we have issues getting our orders right. I got my $2 off code to write on the back of the receipt and I was happy. I had voiced my opinion directly to them (via their website that is probably run by some Asians in Spain) and I could sleep better.

Here’s a quick rundown of recent problems at this particular location, never mind the pickle problem.

– I once got the sandwich minus bacon because I am not a huge fan of bacon. Fuck the internet and memes, bacon is not the greatest thing ever. I returned home to find only about three of those little mushroom pieces on my burger. At least it didn’t have bacon on it.
-Another time I ordered a double of that sandwich, with no bacon. I got home to find I had a single. I took it back to them to correct. They gave me a double, with bacon. (Both fuck ups here were done by a manager.)
-I took my $2 off coupon to them and got the sandwich in a combo. They wouldn’t accept the coupon because it’s only good on a sandwich, not a combo. Make sense? Of course it fucking doesn’t, because they ring up the sandwich and the combo separately.

Tonight we asked for 2 JBC with tomato and pickle added. The screen immediately showed:

2 JBC
-ONLY
-TOMATO
-PICKLE

This isn’t the first time that has happened. I said to the man with a heavy sigh that we wanted everything on the sandwich, we were just ADDING (said with extreme emphasis) tomato and pickle. He said, “Oh, ok.”

We got the order and discovered the sandwiches had only tomato and pickle. We then drove up to where my wife works and there’s a Wendy’s there at 5490 Beach Blvd, Mason, OH, right across the street from that shitty ass Burger King I linked to above. We stopped in to get her a drink and some packets of mayo for her burgers. The small drink came up on the screen as costing $1.48. With tax it was $1.60 or something. When we got to the window the girl said the total was $1.90. I handed her $2 and she gave me back fifteen cents. True story.

When I got home I went to Wendy’s website and sent another message directly to their Mexican Asians. This is exactly what I sent them.

I wrote to you recently and told you how this particular location almost never gets our orders right. I told you how my wife and I spend a lot of our money there. Well, we’re done. We’ll find somewhere else to go. I’m so sick of the bare minimum competency held by the employees there. My wife gets the same thing there, every time. Two Junior Bacon Cheeseburgers, and we add tomato and pickles.

When we first started ordering pickles on the burgers, she wanted extra pickles on them because she loves your pickles. The first time I told them I wanted extra pickles on the burgers the lady said, “They don’t come with pickles.” Is it that hard to figure out that I’d like to ADD pickles to the sandwiches so that there are extra pickles on them? We’d pay for them if there was a charge, just get it right.

Then we had to start asking for the pickles on the side just to make sure we got them. Just because we said we wanted to add pickles to the burgers didn’t always mean we’d get pickles on them.

This fiasco happened almost every time we ordered this order, which was three to four times a week. And then we started getting a new problem. I’d order the sandwiches, say I wanted tomato and pickles ADDED, and they’d put on the order which we could see on the screen at the drive through “ONLY.” I’ve told them time and time again that we didn’t just want those two things on the burgers, we wanted everything that came on the burgers including the tomatoes and pickles. Sometimes they’d get it right, most of the time they wouldn’t. Tonight was one of the times when they didn’t get it right. When I saw the “ONLY” I once again said that we wanted everything else on the burgers too. The guy said, “Oh, okay.” We got our order and SURPRISE! Just tomatoes and pickles on the burgers.

It can’t be rocket science to work there and to do a halfway decent job, but apparently you’ve gone above and beyond to find the dumbest of the dumb to represent your company. Congratulations, your employees are idiots.

We’ll spend our money somewhere else. We don’t have throw away money, we work hard for what we got, which isn’t much. What little money we have we like to spend on food we enjoy from places who value our money and our patronage. Obviously you don’t give much of a shit about either one of those from us, so we’ll move on to some place that does.

Lastly, giving people extra large drinks instead of the normal sizes that everyone else does would be nice if you didn’t fill each cup entirely with ice before the drink is added. One of your extra large “large” drinks yields about as much to drink as everybody else’s mediums. Thanks for making me pay for a cup full of ice that has nothing to chill after three drinks.

Dave is undoubtedly rolling around in his grave right now.

Fuck Wendy’s. I’m so done with them and their shit. My wife’s drink was so full of ice she barely got her straw in it. Seriously. She doesn’t drink a lot, which is why she ordered a small, but I’m sure even she’ll be thirsty after that drink.

How hard is it? I know fast food is what it is, but that doesn’t mean we, as consumers, shouldn’t expect them to get our orders right. I know I should know better, and I do. I completely expect to get something fucked up at a fast food place, any of them. But we should hold them to the same standards we hold everything else to. We’re paying them 100% of the money for 100% of the product we order, nothing less. And we should get nothing less.

Fuck you Wendy’s, I’m done with you.