Category Archives: Food Reviews

I like food.

Food Review: Skyline Chili

This is really for those of you who are located around the Cincinnati area and know of Skyline. The rest of you can bugger off. Really, get to fuck. Cause you won’t have a clue about what I’m talking about.

A few years back Skyline introduced habañero cheese for a limited time only. It went over so well they brought it in full time. Just a few years ago I worked at a Skyline and dealt with this cheese. There’s a Skyline right down the road from me and my wife and I eat there regularly, and have for years.

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Uh Oh! Spaghetti-O’s!

I don’t know. Just kinda sitting around, eating some food from when I was a kid. Thought I’d post about it.

Spaghetti-O’s, made by Campbell’s Soup Co., recently put out some new flavors. Typically you get a shit load of O-shaped noodles in a tomato/cheese sauce. Well now that they’ve added these three new flavors, they’ve only slightly changed things up.

I guess there are three new flavors, that’s what I saw at the store, which was Wal-mart, by the way. That’s also where I stole the pictures from.

I got a can of each and I’m giving them a try. Not at the same time. Although now that I think about it that might be interesting. So here’s my review.

spaghettios-beef-tacosI first tried the Beefy Taco’s, and they had what they advertised. Beef, and a taco flavor. The problem is, the taco flavor is basically just taco seasoning added to the Spaghetti-O’s and by the fourth or fifth bite it was just too much. Not that it was bad, it was just kind of “eh.” The beef in it, though, is much different than what you would expect out of a meat sauce in say, a Chef Boyardee can of pasta. If you were to fry up some ground beef and get it all broken up and loose, then you dump it all in a colander, whatever tiny insignificant pieces fall through the holes in the colander, that’s typically what you find in a Chef Boyardee meat sauce. Instead, Campbell’s gives you slightly bigger pieces of cooked beef that actually have texture and flavor. There aren’t a lot in a can, but there’s more than anything the Chef ever did. Overall, not too bad, but nothing I would try again. Unless maybe I had some shredded cheese and sour cream to put on it. 3 of 5 stars.

spaghettios-cheeseburgerosNext I tried the Cheeseburger-O’s. They were a little better, but exactly what I figured they would be. Basically they added some flame-broiled/grilled seasoning to the sauce and there you go. It would be the same kind of stuff they add to those frozen ballpark burgers to make you think they’re flame broiled, or grilled on a grill, but it was actually made in a factory where they painted those grill burns on the burger. Or, just like they do with all of the burgers at any Burger King. This one also has the little beef chunks floating around in it. The flavor wasn’t too much with this one, at least for me. I could probably eat this one again. 4 of 5 stars.

spaghettios-cheesy-pizzaosLastly I tried the Cheesy Pizza-O’s. I guess in Campbell’s world these are Cheese Pizza, but here, in the real world, they’re Spaghetti-O’s. Regular old Spaghetti-O’s. Had somebody made those for me and not said a thing about them, I wouldn’t have thought twice about them. Cheesy they were not, at least they didn’t come across as more cheesy than normal, and pizza they were not. At one point I did look into the bowl and see a piece of what I’m assuming was Italian seasoning, or something, but that was it. Now that I’m done eating them, the aftertaste kind of tastes like pizza, but again, if I hadn’t known what flavor they were, I would have never guessed it. I give those a 2 out of 5 stars because they fail. Otherwise, they don’t taste bad at all, just nothing like pizza.

I regularly don’t eat Spaghetti-O’s, and these special new flavors didn’t really do much to keep me eating the brand. All they really made me do is wish I had a taco, a cheeseburger and a pizza. If you’re interested in trying these or you think your kid would like them (they probably will cause kids will garbage down anything from a can) give them a try. I found these at Wal-mart and they were just under a dollar a can.

McDonald’s Employees Need More Money

Despite what some may feel, the United States minimum wage should be almost $22 an hour. That’s what reports, and those of us making minimum wage, say.

Some states have just passed bills raising their own minimum wage to $15 an hour, which is nice and definitely better than $7.25. But in all of the other places where minimum wage is that disgusting $7.25, people are pissed. Namely, those working for McDonald’s, the world’s largest fast food chain.

And I get it. I’m a minimum wage kinda guy myself. Not that I want to be, but eh, shit happens. Recently, Micky D’s CEO Don Thompson said their wages are perfect just where they are and fuck what his employees think. Maybe not in those words, but when you’re making over $9 million a year, you can say whatever the fuck you want.
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Taco Bell Breakfast

If you haven’t noticed, in their attempts to keep up with the Johnson’s, Taco Bell recently (and finally) decided they were going to serve breakfast. Because I don’t give a shit what I ingest, I decided to give it a try. After all, Burger King’s breakfast lately has sucked shit and McDonald’s breakfast will never be the same until they bring back the McSkillet burrito. Nobody has really put forth a decent fast food effort into taking breakfast business away from McDonald’s and I’m shocked at this.

Taco Bell’s new line of breakfast food includes coffee. Regular black coffee. Nothing fancy, just coffee. They also have orange juice, or if you prefer, all of the other drinks they normally sell.

As far as the food goes, they have a waffle taco, grilled taco, sausage flat bread, breakfast burrito and a breakfast crunchwrap. To top it off, you can also get a hash brown or their Cinnabon Delights, which are basically little balls of dough with crack inside them.

I first tried their AM Crunchwrap with sausage. It’s made just like their regular crunchwrap, only with breakfast food inside it, egg, cheese, your choice of meat, hash brown (which is what makes it crunchy) and a creamy jalapeno sauce of some kind that helps give it that Taco Bell flavor. Honestly, it’s delicious and I think I’m hooked.

Today I tried their breakfast burrito with sausage. It’s tasty, but it’s lacking something. Now, here is where they basically dropped the ball. For starters, they use a completely different sausage than the patty they use on everything else. It’s a crumbled sausage. While it tastes good, what would be wrong with using the patty stuff? Cut one in half and place both halves inside the burrito length-wise, and you have sausage in every bite. As it is, you get the crumbled sausage (or steak or bacon), a bunch of egg and some cheese inside a burrito. That’s it. No sauce, the stuff from the crunchwrap would do just fine. No salsa, no nothing. Taco Bell is supposed to be Mexican food, which happens to come with salsa on just about everything. Where’s that at, Taco Bell? I’m looking for a great alternative to the McSkillet and once again I haven’t found it. While it’s tasty, it’s not complete, and it’s relatively small.

I haven’t had the Waffle Taco, my wife did, and she said it was tasty but not worth the $2 we spent on it. To be fair, it also didn’t look like the picture they have on the website or on the menu. There were barely any eggs on it. Of course we did stop at one of the worst Taco Bell locations in the country for this particular breakfast, but even still, the crunchwrap I had was still awesome.

I really hope this catches on with people, because the product is good and inexpensive. I’ve already heard complaints that the breakfast food gave someone the shits. Well, it IS Taco Bell. Don’t they do that normally? It hasn’t done that to me, yet, and again, I’m completely hooked on the AM Crunchwrap. And the Cinnabon Delights, those things are like meth infused hookers with crack inside.

If Taco Bell’s breakfast can stay around, I’ll eat it. With my schedule, breakfast time is my dinner time, and I don’t mind eating breakfast for dinner. But I’m also typically on my way home and don’t want to go sit somewhere. Unfortunately, I’m a fast food person, and as I said, there aren’t many good options for fast food breakfast anymore. Taco Bell has a good chance at winning, at least for me, but they need to come up with some other things and improve the stuff they already have. Except the AM Crunchwrap, they hit that one out of the park.

Work At McDonald’s! Get Paid To Be An Asshole!

I love the internet and blogs. If it weren’t for them I’d be stuck calling businesses who pissed me off and yelling at management until I got free stuff snail mailed to me, like coupons and what not. I used to do that shit all the time back in the day, before I was able to get online. And most of the times I wouldn’t even let them send me shit. I’m not one of those people. All I want is for them to hire competent employees. Is that too much to ask? If you’re getting paid, do the fucking job. I don’t care how terrible the job is. If you’re accepting money for it, do the fucking job.

And let me tell you, customer service isn’t hard to get. Seriously. I fucking hate customer service because customers are idiots most of the time, but I’m fucking excellent at customer service. Because it’s not hard. And it pisses me off that I am considering how much I hate customers. It’s the best job for me and it blows.

Regardless, companies who hire morons need to hear about it. I was once an integral part in the closing of a Taco Bell, because I called not only their store, but their main HQ to complain about their shit. All of it. No matter how little or big. It got to be a game for me. Wanna fuck with my shit? I’m paying you for your service. If you cannot give me the service you were hired to give, uh, fuck you.

So now that I am online, I don’t have to call. No, I just come onto my blog here and bitch away. I find it’s much more soothing. Plus, I get to warn the tens of people who read this where not to go should they find themselves in the area. With that said, here we go.

I swear to whatever holy being you believe in that McDonald’s goes out of their way to hire the worst humans on the planet. Over the years I’ve had their employees, at many different locations, do something to piss me off for really no reason at all other than they’re idiots who value their own lives so little that they have to make everyone else suffer.

I thought I was used to it. I know what to expect at McDonald’s. Nothing good, and a lot of it. A place where their food containers give more of a shit about my experience than the mouth breathing employees they pay to work at their stores.

Recently my wife and I had an issue with one McDonald’s in particular that unfortunately we go to from time to time. We stopped in and ordered a couple of double cheeseburgers. That’s like, some of the simplest things they could make, right? How do you fuck up easy stuff? Leave it to them.

One of my wife’s double cheeseburgers had no meat on it. Someone made it and somehow forgot to put the main fucking ingredient on it. Her second burger had a long hair in it. I guess to make up for the lack of meat in the first one.

She called to complain and was told we should go see the manager when she got off of work and we would be given a free breakfast. More product. Fuck giving our money back, right? We were told to see the manager, Connie, and she would hook us up.

When we got there we asked to see the manager, Connie. It turned out to be an older woman who I’ve dealt with many times, and she’s always a delight to deal with, in the way an Imperial Siege Tank driving slowly back and forth through your ass would be.

Don't tense up. That'll only make it worse.

Don’t tense up. That’ll only make it worse.

Connie helped us, and as per usual it was reluctantly and seemed to be an absolute bother.

Well, this morning I stopped in to get breakfast. I wasn’t thrilled about it, but I knew what I was getting into. And hooray for me, she was working. Let me start at the beginning.

I pulled up to the drive-through speaker and placed my order. When I was done I then remembered I wanted a couple of cups of ranch for dipping whatever I had into it. You know, it helps the food go down. So I tacked that onto the order and I saw on the drive-through screen where the girl taking my order had put it on the order, although it only said ranch dipping sauce and the price showed 0.00. I knew that wasn’t right, because they’re 25 cents a piece. I pulled around and paid at the first window, then I pulled up to the second window and discovered Connie there. Yay.

This is a woman who, one night, apologized for the long delay in getting my order to me. Fourteen minutes, actually. She said it was because she had to make fresh fries. Apparently growing the potato was the first step. I would have taken old fries.

After just a moment she finally opens the window with my bag in her hand, hands it to me rather quickly and then starts to close the window before I can even think to say anything. I finally caught her and asked her for some ketchup. Her body language showed me she had a gun to her head all night and my request for ketchup had just helped her decide to pull the trigger. Oh man, I’m sure she wished death upon my unborn children.

When she turned to get the ketchup I searched my bags contents for the ranch and found none. When she opened the window again to hand me the ketchup I then said how I’d like two cups of ranch. She looked away from me and said “I’m going to have to charge you for them.”

No shit. NO FUCKING SHIT. Thank you for telling me, I was unaware that I had to pay for product from a business. Especially one hellbent on making all the money.

I responded with, “Yeah, that’s fine, but I had ordered it and I saw it on the screen back there…” and before I was done saying that she cut me off and said, “Yes, but she didn’t charge you for it.”

Oh? So you saw it on the order. You know I ordered it. You must know I wanted it just by that fact alone. Yet when you handed me the bag you were intent on closing that window and going about your business without saying anything to me about the ranch. You were going to let me leave and go to my destination only to discover what I ordered wasn’t in the bag. Instead of saying, “Hey, I know you wanted ranch but she didn’t charge you for it. If you’d still like the ranch it will cost 25 cents per cup.” She could have even said, “I didn’t put your ranch in there because she didn’t charge you. Would you still like it? It will only be 50 cents.”

The entire problem here isn’t that I didn’t pay for it, it’s that HER EMPLOYEE didn’t charge me for it. She put it on the order. My job at that point was done. Her employee fucked up, not me.

“Yes, but she didn’t charge you for it.”

I responded with, “I understand that but I still want the ranch, that’s why I ordered it. I’ll pay for it.” Holy shit, she emptied the clip. She turned around and got the ranch and when she came back to the window she opened it and handed me the ranch without looking at me. I gave her a dollar bill and sped off. Thank god we went through all of that shit. Now their location won’t close and they can pay their utility bills. And since I paid double for the ranch, maybe they’ll be able to put some away for a rainy day.

I know some people say how you don’t know everybody’s story. You don’t know what made them that way. Maybe they had a horrible life. Maybe they just had a horrible day. Well, I fucking hope so. Let’s not forget she’s apparently a manager. And I don’t care how horrible your life is, don’t take it out on those not responsible for it. I didn’t make your life suck so much that you had to work at a McDonald’s in your old age. Don’t take it out on me.

McDonald’s, I had it with your shit many years ago. I truly don’t want to eat at your stores any more than your employees want to do their jobs or give decent customer service. But you know what? Unfortunately I’ll keep eating at your stores, so unfortunately you’ll have to attempt decent customer service. Lucky for me you have a store on every corner, so I can just pick and choose until I find which ones I’ll suffer at the least.

PS – When your Brentwood, OH location burned down I laughed. And dammit all, you rebuilt that fucker.

PPS – Come to think of it, pretty much every fast food place on that road sucks. Waffle House is your best bet. Seriously.