Android Game Reviews

These last few months of not having the internet have given me ample time to watch Netflix and play games on my cell phone. I have been playing games on my phone for quite some time, and watching Netflix a lot, for that matter. I just did both more.

All of these games are free to play.

Hill Climb Racing

android-hill-climb-racingThe first game I’m addicted to is Hill Climb Racing by Fingersoft. I’m not sure how my scores are compared to others around the world, but amongst those people I know who play it, I dominate. So if you play and have some high scores, let me know. We’ll compare notes.

Hill Climb Racing is a very easy to play, good for all ages kind of game. You play as Newton Bill, who drives a wide range of vehicles along a wide range of levels. Each level has its unique challenges and difficulty levels, and each car has its own characteristics. Figuring out which vehicle works best on which track for you is essential. You collect coins so you can buy new vehicles and levels, as well as upgrade the vehicles you already own.

HCR is a very addictive side scroller with plenty of achievements for you to achieve. I’ve never had any issues with this game and they update it with new cars and levels regularly. It’s one of Google Play’s top games, and one I highly recommend for a very good time killer.


android-imobstersI’ve been playing iMobsters longer than any other game. I had one account and lost it when I switched phones, but I’ve had my current account since then, through multiple phone changes, and I’m almost done with the levels. It’s a fun game, and the game play is just like that of many other games by Storm8. They just change pictures and words around, and depending on what you happen to be more interested in, you’re sure to find a game you’ll like.

I’m hoping there’s something after the levels are done, cause I don’t know if I’ll keep playing it if there aren’t. And I don’t know if I can handle not playing it anymore.

You spin turns to complete objectives. You buy stuff to make money. You attack other players. It’s heavily based off of those pimp games that were so popular 10 years ago and are still going on today (I used to run one called Cartelz).

My only issue with the game is if you switch devices, you have to go through a lot of bullshit just to continue using your old account on your new phone. It seems to me that it should be a much easier or simpler process than it is, and Storm8 should have figured that out long ago. Still though, it’s worth playing if you feel like possibly killing a few years of your life with it. I’ve literally missed a half dozen days total playing that game in the last 4 or 5 years. I play it every day, religiously. My name there is John Ravioli and my Mob Code is WG4ATP, if you want to add me to your Mob.

Zombie Tsunami

android-zombie-tsunamiWhat a fun game Zombie Tsunami by Mobigame S.A.R.L. is. I only know one other person who plays it, I got him to start, but he only played a couple of times and that was that.

A really good looking, cartoony and comical side scroller, ZT has you in control of the zombie horde, as you walk along munching peoples brains. Once you munch a brain, that person is transformed into a zombie and walks along with you in your horde. You try to see how many brains you can convert and how big you can make your horde. You have to jump over giant holes in the road, dodge bombs, and leap over cars coming at you, as well as duck under helicopters coming at you. There are special achievements you have to get which could have you trying to do the opposite and try to explode the bombs and jump in the holes, willingly killing yourself.

It’s goofy and so very fun. The farther you go, the faster the game gets. Other than certain achievements that make you play on a certain day or at a certain time just to unlock that achievement, you don’t have to play every day to get anything special, making this a fun time killer when you only have a little bit of time to kill.

Subway Surfers

android-subway-surfersAnother one of the more popular games on Google Play is Subway Surfers by Kiloo. This is a very addictive game that constantly updates with new levels and things to get. They recently added a new side game during the weekends that is also fun to attempt while playing the regular game.

A constantly running game, you control whatever character you want to play as, always running forward up a subway while dodging trains and barriers. You can use hoverboards to help you along the way while collecting coins and random things you need to unlock other characters, missions and achievements. You’re also playing against everybody who plays the game around the world, as well as your Facebook friends.

I competed regularly with several of my friends and always enjoyed trying to do better and unlock everything, but ultimately all of the glitches took their toll and now I don’t play it anymore. I had been playing every day to get the daily rewards and to win each weekly race, but I got burned out. Mostly from being pissed at the game for glitching.

Apparently Kiloo designed the game to run a whole lot at one time, so it slows down the game play. Two of my buddies also had trouble with this, and they played on very nice phones that had more than enough specs to push the game.

The glitching, or random freezing of the game while playing cause you to miss jumps, which you need great timing for when the game speeds up, and it also helps you to miss important things you’re trying to get. Just as I’d pass over an object to collect it the game would freeze, just for a second, like a skip, and I wouldn’t collect what I was trying to get.

For one full month while on one level, every time I got done using a hoverboard, it would show that I was using the boots bonus (I can’t remember the real name of it) making me able to jump higher and over trains. Except when I would go to jump, I wouldn’t actually have them on, and I would die because I wouldn’t jump over the oncoming train, I’d jump right into it.

All of that is very frustrating, and I was frustrated. I can only imagine how good of a player I could have been if I was actually able to play the game without the game stopping me. And then, Kiloo dropped the bomb.

One of the things in the game was if you use your hoverboard the entire time given without wrecking on it, you would be able to get a new hoverboard immediately. This helped so that you could continue using hoverboards and getting better scores. If you wrecked while using a hoverboard, however, you have to wait 3 seconds or so before you could use another one, as a kind of penalty for wrecking.

If you’re on a hoverboard and you wreck, it gets rid of what you wrecked into and the hoverboard so you can continue going forward and playing, which is why you want to use the hoverboards when the game gets going fast. If you wreck, you’re helped but you get penalized by not being able to use another hoverboard for a few seconds. If you ride it out and don’t wreck, you’re rewarded by being able to use another one immediately.

Well, Kiloo took that reward out, so now even if you ride a hoverboard all the way through its time limit, you still have to wait a few seconds before you can use another one.

They never announced this change, that I know of, and it majorly fucked up everyone when the change happened. The best my buddies and I could figure, Kiloo did this so that addicted players would have to spend actual money to purchase more hoverboards, or something. Basically, we thought it was all about money.

We decided that if they offered the option to pay for us to have back the immediate usage of hoverboards, we’d pay for it. Yeah, it was that serious. But, rather than email them and get no response and not have our idea taken into consideration, most likely, and with all of the other glitches not going away anytime soon, I decided I was just done with it. Because I had planned on getting another phone and I discovered you can’t transfer your account to a new phone. Well, you can, but little else. Apparently you can only transfer your high score. Everything you’ve unlocked, your money total, all of the extra stuff you have like your hoverboards and upgrades, go away.

I spent a lot of time playing that game to get what I had, I’m not going to lose it all because Kiloo decided not to make it easy to transfer accounts when it should be. So I deleted the game and I probably won’t get it back anytime soon. I had spent money on it to get double coins, but that was it.

Robot Unicorn Attack 2

android-rua2Robot Unicorn Attack 2 by [adult swim] Games and PikPok is a follow up game that is apparently better than the first. A lot of rave reviews make it one of the top games available, widely played, and very addictive. The worlds are beautiful, the graphics are all great, and the game is kind of hysterical given that it’s so beautiful while also being kind of psychotic. And the soundtrack to the game is amazingly ’80s songs. They’re VERY 80s.

You play as a robot unicorn that you can fully customize in some awesome bodies (like a storm trooper or a terminator) while you collect fairies and tears as points and money respectively, jump through hoops to multiply your score, dash through star crystals for more points and through giants to save your own ass. The giants have giant star faces that blast solar rays at you that will kill you.

On paper it sounds like an awesome game, and it actually is. BUT…

I literally think [adult swim] made the game with the glitches in tact on purpose, because the glitches are so bad that there’s no way they don’t know about them and there’s no excuse for them not fixing them at all. Hell, you can read all of the reviews on Google Play that say what I’m saying. The game glitches too damn much and ruins your shit.

Sometimes when I start a level I can’t jump. The problem only lasts for that first jump, but it’s still a problem, and it’s random, so you never know when it’ll hit. But it happens probably once in every six starts.

Sometimes I randomly can’t jump or dash in the middle of a run. This isn’t good, considering you have to do those things to continue playing without dying. I’ll hit jump and I’ll jump but immediately do a nose dive and die, even though my thumb is still touching the screen because I was still fucking jumping.

There’s no excuse for that.

In the game you can get wings for your unicorn, and if you have them equipped, once you get to a certain speed you can fly. You fly by holding the jump button, you drop down or swoop by letting go of the button, and then fly up in the air again by pressing it again. The other day I let go so I could swoop down and instead, my unicorn flew to the top of the screen and died, completely independent of my control.

All the time the music stops playing in the middle of game play. No reason whatsoever. It just stops playing.

I was dealing with all of that, because I was completely addicted to the game. I even spent money on it, to unlock a new song that I could listen to while playing (if it didn’t randomly stop playing). I got the Neverending Story tune by Limahl, cause fuck yeah.

Here is Limahl lip syncing the shit out of it.

The chick behind him is hot, but it doesn’t matter, she’s just a figurehead for the female part. No matter what woman is singing the song with him, the voice never changes, unless he’s actually singing it live, which is always terrible.

Anyway, my point here is, the final camel’s back that broke my straw is when the game reset itself on me. After I had leveled up to rank 20-something, I turned it on one day only to find all of the shit I had unlocked, my rank, all of the money I had earned, was gone. I was at the beginning of the game.

The reason I think they actually programmed the glitches in as a joke, or are at least aware of the glitches but don’t care enough to fix them is, they have button on the game to restore purchases. I hit that and got the song back that I paid for, but that was it. So at least I didn’t lose my money.

I started playing again and quickly leveled up to rank 40. Earlier today my wife had a problem with her game where she couldn’t hit the pause button, but she thought nothing of it. I went to play my game and it had reset again, except only partially. I still had all of my shit, but I was back at rank 1.

I’m done with it. Joke or not, that’s fucked up and I’m not dealing with it. I removed both it and Subway Surfers from my phone. Guess I’ll have to find something else to play.

I would have posted reviews of these on Google Play, but I’m not signing up to Google Plus just to do it. Thing about all of these games is, they’re free, but if they’re worth it to me I’m going to spend money on them to help support those who made them and to get some cool bonuses, like double coins or ad free, or whatever. I wanted to spend more money on those last two games, but I’m not going to drop money on games that I can’t play regularly without issues. They need to get their shit together.

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