Registered Sex Offender Wins Lottery

Slow news day? Nah, the news reports unnecessary shit all the time. Recently reported and trending on Facebook is a story about a registered sex offender in Florida who won a $3 million lottery.

I know you know me well enough by now to know what I really have to say about this, so say it with me.


Very good, class. Now let’s analyze why this is a completely fucking worthless story and how it is in no way news. Taken directly from the source I linked to above.

“At the Florida Lottery headquarters, Timothy Poole, 43, posed for a photo with an oversized check after claiming his $3 million Scratch-Off prize. But when the image hit the Internet, others recognized the 450-pound man as a registered sexual predator.”

People recognized him as a sexual predator! Quick! Arrest this man! Oh wait, he’s a REGISTERED sexual predator. You know, those people have already been identified, so good job at seeing what’s already been seen and pointing it out to others. Don’t let your jealousy of someone who’s not you winning the lottery overcome you. There’s no law against sexual predators winning the lottery, or even playing the lottery. Good for him for winning, move the fuck on.

That was the first paragraph in the story, then there are two more talking about his long criminal record. Get it? It’s a RECORD. That means he’s been caught and served his time.

We, in this country, need to stop with this shit. Either you’re for our legal system or you’re against it. When people serve time, they’re supposed to have paid their debt for committing whatever crime they committed. If you keep holding it over their head, then why should they bother serving the time to begin with?

After those three paragraphs, the ONLY PART of this entire article that should have been posted is the next paragraph where it talks about what lotto he played and his winnings. That’s the news, the rest is worthless, unnecessary fluff.

And then:

“The Florida Lottery took down a photo of Poole from its website after learning from media about his past.

“We chose to not draw additional attention to this particular winner,” said Shelly Gerteisen, communications manager for the Florida Lottery.”

So the Florida Lottery didn’t want to draw additional attention to Poole and took his picture down, which had they left it up would have let everybody know he’s a sexual predator and to watch out for him, thus doing a civic duty and helping to inform the masses of him. So by bringing it up they fail, and by taking his stuff down they fail.

It doesn’t matter anyway, because in this article his picture and name are plastered all over. Not only that, but all of his dirty laundry, his terrible past that again, HE SERVED HIS TIME FOR, and everything else including where he works, is there for everybody around the world to see.

Need any more clues as to why the media sucks and ruins fucking everything?

“This is not the first time a registered sex offender has struck it rich.

In 2007, a Jensen Beach man arrested for lewd and lascivious or indecent assault upon a child snagged a $14 million lottery jackpot prize.”

Who the fuck is keeping tabs on this shit? Who cares? It’s not news. It doesn’t offer anybody any kind of help, or knowledge worth having. It’s not worth reporting at all. This isn’t news. But it continues to get better.

This year, Massachusetts legislators are considering a bill to prevent registered sex offenders from collecting lottery earnings after a $10 million winner used the money to buy expensive gifts for a new victim, police said.

This begs several questions. One, are there that many registered sex offenders winning the lottery that this needs to happen? If that’s the case then I’m going to go become one and then play the lottery. And two, what does that say about Massachusetts? Are there that many registered sex offenders IN MASSACHUSETTS winning the lottery? This seriously can’t be that big of an issue. Seriously.

Fucking seriously.

In Florida, there are no laws that prohibit registered sexual predators from playing the numbers and collecting winnings. The Florida Lottery cannot withhold earnings based on someone’s criminal record.

As I was saying. If there’s no laws against it, then how is this news? Go find something else to talk about. Go write about celebrity lives, because so many need to know that worthless shit. Leave this man alone. He’s served his time. He got lucky and won the lottery. Good for him. Move the fuck on. Let him be.

4 responses to “Registered Sex Offender Wins Lottery

  1. Well, normally we wouldn’t want him living in our neighborhood…BUT, having rich people around does increase property values, right?

  2. Oy. This is why I don’t watch the news. It’s like all they want to do is keep people angry.

    • Yeah, exactly. When I went to school for this stuff we were taught that the job of the news is to report it, not create it for reporting. This is the kind of story that shows they most definitely create the news just to have something to report, because this isn’t fucking news.

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