Interview: Matt Roberts

Since I had such a great time interviewing the amazing Kristen Stewart of Adventureland fame, which can be read here, I thought I’d give another interview, but this time to somebody who isn’t a statue.

With that said, here is author and historical education writer Matt Roberts! Welcome!

Matt Roberts: Thank you for having me!
Beefy: So, you’re a writer…
MR: That’s right.
BF: I’m writing this interview down right now. Does that qualify me?
MR: Absolutely.
BF: Great. So, you’ve got a book out called Hand One Is Dealt. Your thoughts?
MR: I do have a book out and that is the name of it.
BF: Awesome. When do you find the time to write?
MR: Whenever I’m not doing something else.
BF: Interesting. What’s your favorite pizza?
MR: Cooked.
BF: Indeed. How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?
MR: Seven.
BF: Seven? Seven what?
MR: Twelve.
BF: You’re not making any sense.
MR: Blue.
BF: Have any projects lined up?
MR: I do. I was a part of the awesome 13 Stories Til Halloween last year, and they’ve just asked me to be a part of it again this year, so that’s what I’m going to be working on in the coming days. After that I’m going to do my damnedest to get my next book finished, which I wrote back in 2012.
BF: I’m sorry, what?
MR: I do. I was a part of the awesome 13 Stories Til Halloween last year, and they’ve just asked me to be a part of it again this year, so that’s what I’m going to be working on in the coming days. After that I’m going to do my damnedest to get my next book finished, which I wrote back in 2012.
BF: What’s that about?
MR: Some genius pervert invents a device to clone horny women and then he sleeps with them, all while partying and smoking weed.
BF: That sounds fucking amazing.
MR: Yeah, it’s a children’s book.
BF: Can you dig it?
MR: Yes. Yes I can dig it.
BF: What is your biggest pet peeve?
MR: I don’t know. To think of something right now to give you an answer, I hate it when people call me you.
BF: I get that shit all the time. People calling me you. I’m not you, I’m Beefy.
MR: I mean, I get it. I’m a fat guy, so maybe that’s why they call me Beefy.
BF: That shit pisses me off. Why do we both have our own names if people are just going to call us whatever the fuck they want?
MR: Got me.
BF:
MR:
BF:
MR:
BF:
So your book that you just described, does it contain gratuitous sex?
MR: Tons. It’s very explicit. A buddy of mine who proofread it for me initially gave me some awesome feedback, and he said to him it’s like that 50 Shades Of Grey book, only for men. And with much better sex scenes.
BF: That shouldn’t be hard to do.
MR: It wasn’t. I just described all of the sex I’ve ever had. You know, like, in my dreams.
BF: Of course. So why sex? Are you into those erotic books?
MR: Not really, no. Although I have written a couple of those types of stories and tried to get them published as erotic fiction. I have no idea why.
BF: Me either.
MR: One day, maybe, I’ll finish them and get them published. We’ll see.
BF: Maybe.
MR: Maybe.
BF: Any final thoughts?
MR: Yes.
BF: Great! Thanks for stopping by and donating your precious time to this terrible interview!
MR: Thanks for having me!
BF: Whatever.

For more on Matt and his books, check out his website at officialmattroberts.com. That’s it for now!

4 responses to “Interview: Matt Roberts

  1. Reblogged this on Matt Roberts and commented:
    The always awesome Beefybooyawn just interviewed me over at his blog! Go check it out!

  2. Best interview ever, Ma…Beefy. Yay for 13 days of Halloween.

  3. 13 stories til Halloween, even.

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