Movie Review: Guardians Of The Galaxy

For the first time in just about 8 years, I got to see a movie in the theater. I bet you can’t guess which one I went to see!

Lucky guess. It's like you read the title to this blog or something.

Lucky guess. It’s like you read the title to this blog or something.

We went to an AMC theater to see this, which was nice. Here are the reviews I read about this particular location, before we went there.

“There can sometimes be MOUNDS of popcorn stuck under the seats.”
“The AMC (at least at this one’s) customer service is horrendous.” 2 reviewers
“I can buy a week’s worth of their popcorn kernels for that price.”

Oh man, I couldn’t wait to go. For starters, what do you care what’s under your seat? Are you sitting there on the floor? Second, our customer service was just fine. Third, shut the fuck up. When has going to the movies ever been cheap? Never in my life. Unless you go to the dollar cinema. So shut it, or start bringing a purse with you and filling it with your own goods, like everybody else.

Tickets for 2: $21
One large popcorn and one large drink: $13.75
Dumping my bag of popcorn on the floor under my seat to really piss off the next person who goes there: Priceless

It turned out to be a nice place. The seats were nice. There were no popcorn mounds under them, which was unfortunate, because I had planned on saving money on popcorn that way. The movie started at 8 PM, at least that’s what they advertised. We got there at 7:30. We watched their commercials, over and over, and then promptly at 8:05 PM the previews started. We saw some cool previews for movies coming soon, the biggest of which that I’d like to see is the new Hunger Games movie, which I was totally not shocked to see is going to be a two parter, because all book sagas turned movie sagas have to split their last installment up into two movies now. Thanks, Harry.

Oh, except for the new Hobbit movie, which will just be a one parter. Thanks, Jackson (director, who didn’t want to do the movies at all).

I went into the Guardians movie with high hopes, because it’s a Marvel flick, who is owned by Disney, and their movies are always good because they have the power of the Illuminati Disney behind them. The movie started at 8:23 PM, almost a half hour after when it was supposed to start.

The Guardians are new to me. Seriously. Sure, when I was a kid, and up until my early 20s I read comics, but I wasn’t that into the super hero stuff. I did Superman, X-men, SOME Batman, very little Spiderman, and Martian Manhunter. That was pretty much it, as far as super hero’s go. The rest of the comics I read were the off the wall shit that caught my attention. Guardians Of The Galaxy? Who are they?

The good thing about the movie is, it explains enough about the characters so that you know what’s going on. They do a good job of that. I can’t say if the movie followed the comics that well, so I’m not going to be jumping into that shitstorm. For those of you who didn’t read the comics, but dig these kinds of movies, you’ll probably really like this.

The action is nice and super fast so that you can’t really see what’s going on, just like every other movie like it, so that’s good. The acting, all around, was very well done. My hat’s off to Dave Bautista (I always thought it was Batista) who was REALLY good in this. Like, much better than Stone Cold in any of his movies.

Zoe Saldana, who plays Uhura in the new Star Trek movies, was great. I actually didn’t realize that was her until the movie was almost over, but to be fair she was green, and amazingly I thought she was white under the green makeup. That’s what threw me off. She also played Neytiri in Avatar, and will reprise that role in Avatar 2, Avatar 3, and Avatar 4.

Chris Jericho, I mean Chris Pratt was excellent, and very funny. The comedy in the movie was great and helped keep the movie from getting stale. I think I’ve only ever seen him in one other thing and I only barely remember it. So this was a good reintroduction to him for me.

I see it.

I see it.

My favorite character in the movie was Groot. Cool dude, and voiced by Vin Diesel, which I won’t hold against him. But it was okay, because he only had one line that he kept repeating over and over, so really they could have gotten anybody to do the voice.

The soundtrack to the movie was really cool, and I hope they have more of that in the next movie, which apparently is going to be where the Guardians meet The Avengers, and they take on the Justice League in a Survivor Series match.

I enjoyed it. Go see it. Out of 10 CGI I give this movie 9 CGI.

4 responses to “Movie Review: Guardians Of The Galaxy

  1. Great review. Sorry if this bursts your bubble, but that Hunger Games is last in a trilogy. Also sorry that there was no popcorn under the seat for you to swipe (and ew). :0P ;0)

    • How can that burst my bubble if I already knew that? What are YOU not getting? 😀

      • I did not get the word not in front of shocked until after I pressed the submit comment. I can admit when I’m dumb which is more often than…wait for it…not.

        I realized what I did after and was curious as to what your response would be.

      • Ha! I hate doing that. I’ve gotten into quite a few arguments before by my own dumbness and not reading exactly what they said lol.

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