Bloomin’ Bieber

For those of you who read the title to this and watch porn and instantly thought there might be a video of Justin Bieber blooming, I’m sorry to disappoint you. For those of you who have no idea what blooming in porn is and are about to go Google it, might I suggest that you DO NOT. Seriously. I’ve seen it, and nobody should ever see it. It’s one of those things that once you see it, you can never unsee it. So just don’t.

Of course I’m talking about the recent incident going viral of actor Orlando Bloom taking a swing on Justin Bieber. The almost-fight took place at a restaurant called Ibiza, or it’s a restaurant in a place named Ibiza. Sounds kind of middle-eastern. I’m not sure which it is, but what I do know is, it’s a place where people like Orlando Bloom and Justin Bieber go to eat. So I’ll stay the fuck out of it.

I’m no fan of either, honestly. I like some of the movies Bloom is in, but that’s about it. I don’t know him personally, nor do I know Bieber personally, but either way, I’m not a fan. I don’t hate either of them, though. Much to the dismay of the entire internet, I don’t hate Justin Bieber. Not only that, but I don’t understand the hate he gets, just like I don’t understand the hate Nickelback gets. I mean, I DO get how anybody successful is going to be hated by people who aren’t successful, so maybe that’s it. But really, in all honesty, what the fuck has Justin Bieber done to get all the hate?

And this is coming from a guy (me) who hates a lot of shit. However, if there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s someone bitching about something that can easily be avoided. Such as TV shows or movies or music… if you don’t like it, don’t bother with it. I don’t like Nickelback’s or Justin Bieber’s music, so I simply don’t listen to them. Done and done.

But with this particular story, I was all ready to write up a blog post until I read the story about what went down (I linked to it above) and now I just don’t give a shit. Of course I’m still writing this, but it’s not in the direction I was originally going to write it in.

Originally I thought maybe Bloom saw Bieber and wanted to deck him, and that’s where I was pissed, because of what I just said. Why all the unnecessary hate? Then I read the story… Bloom was dating some chick and they broke up. Then Bieber started talking to the chick. Now Bloom is pissed at him.

Now, I just don’t give a fuck. Because that’s celebrity gossip and I don’t give one shit or fuck about celebrity gossip. Hey Bloom, if your relationship ended, IT FUCKING ENDED. Get over it and yourself, dumbass. Tell me you don’t have a billion women slipping and sliding in their seats every time you show up on their TV screens, and how you could have any single one of them. Why does this one particular bitch matter? Forget it, it’s over, move on. Besides, if she wants to date Bieber, do you really want to be with a chick who would date Bieber? You fuck.

And Bieber… whatever. Get it while you can. But stop that fucking street rap shit, if it even got started. Seriously? You’re Canadian. You can’t possibly have shit to rap about. There’s no place in Canada that could successfully make a street rapper. Let it go.

Here’s the video of the altercation. Look at how fucking dull and boring this is. THIS IS WHAT MADE THE NEWS. Nothing. Absolutely nothing has everyone going ape shit. Do you really have so little in your lives that NOTHING gets you all pumped up? Holy fuck.

I’ve seen people celebrating Bloom for taking a swing. Holy shit, why the hate? The hate is all fun and games until it turns violent, and this just did. You can hate Justin all you want, but to celebrate someone becoming violent towards him? Wow, really? Is it THAT serious?

I don’t know (nor do I give a shit) if Bieber was fooling around with Bloom’s ex chick before they were exes. Maybe that justifies a punch. If not, Bloom, move the fuck on.

And for the record folks, Justin Bieber is 20 years old. Orlando Bloom is 37. Orlando’s ex is 31. You do the math. A 37 year old is taking a swing at a 20 year old. Kind of pathetic, if you ask me. And if the 31 year old is thinking of dating a 20 year old… also kind of pathetic. This is why I don’t bother with celebrity bullshit, because that’s all it is. Bullshit. It’s not real world stuff, it’s just bullshit. Those of you who live in celebrity-gossip-land, find yourself a hobby.

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