Driver Crashes Into Walgreens

My wife and I were on our way home from work this morning when we passed by a Walgreens and noticed a bunch of Cincinnati cops parked in the lot. Then we noticed a bunch of news vans parked in the lot. Then we noticed the front doors smashed out, and the inside destroyed.

This Walgreens is just a few blocks from our house. Our neighborhood is the kind of neighborhood that when something like this happens, the residents go, “Oh, is that ALL that happened?”

Because here in Hartwell, we deal with some shit. Like when the pizza shop owner was robbed and shot to death, just a little farther down the street from Walgreens. That was about this time last year. Terrible stuff. The guy who did it was caught, but still, terrible.

Then there was the crazy bitch who drove her car into somebody’s house. It’s cool, she only did it while fleeing from police after shooting somebody. The street she crashed on is between my house and Walgreens. It was damn near next door. That was three years ago.

Those are just a couple of things, not to mention how we’re basically the registered sex offender capital of Cincinnati. There’s one living in the first house on my street, and one living two streets behind me. Then there’s the apartment complex that houses nothing but sexual predators just a few streets over.

“Raped someone? Felt up a little kid? Need a place to live? Come to Hartwell!”

If you do a Google Image Search for “hartwell ohio” you’ll get, among pictures of houses for sale and some of our more historic buildings, screen shots from our local news stations talking about people being shot here over the years. It’s fascinating.

When we got home I went to the three news websites who we saw parked at Walgreens, and checked out their stories. I then went to the website of the fourth news station we have here and saw they had a story (and a video!). None of the stories are in depth, they just give the basic details, and that is that.

Except that is not that. Here’s what I noticed. Never mind the idiot who did this, I already know people don’t know how to fucking drive. My issues here are with the police and the news.

First, here’s what happened, as told by each of the four news stations.

Around 2:30 in the morning, a 33-year-old guy was speeding down the road while drunk and smashed through the front of Walgreens, destroying his SUV, most of the contents in the store, and getting himself injured. He had to be cut out of his SUV and taken to a local hospital. Police say it was an accident instead of premeditated, because they didn’t want to do any more paper work.

It might run a little rough after this. Source: WLWT

It might run a little rough after this. Source: WLWT

Now, here’s what I noticed. From WCPO‘s report, “Officers say the driver was heading south on Galbraith Road when he struck a curb and ran into the store.” Well, there’s the problem right there! If he was traveling south on Galbraith, a street that runs from east to west, he definitely had some problems. If the officers actually said that and it wasn’t misquoted by the news, because as we know, the news NEVER misquotes anybody, then the officers need to be trained a little better. This reminds me of when I was once pulled over and given a ticket for going 42 in a 35 when I was actually going 35. The officer who gave me the ticket wrote that he pulled me at or near Hartwell Avenue, which is only 2 miles away from where we were, and it doesn’t even touch the street he pulled me over on. So yeah, they’re a little fucked up when it comes to directions.

Their report then goes on to say, “The driver, who police have not identified…” which is amazing, considering over on WLWT’s website they say Aaron Ross was the man who crashed into the store. Shoddy reporting there, WCPO. I guess your reporter forgot to ask who the driver was and so you tried to cover it up by saying the police didn’t say. Well no, they won’t say if you don’t fucking ask.

WLWT is looking for a website editor. I’m only guessing about that, because in their story they said, “Police said factor was also a factor in the crash.” Everyone should watch out for that new drug, “factor.” It’s dangerous. They call it that because it tends to be the “factor” when you do something stupid. WLWT’s current website editor is addicted to factor.

I also got the info from WXIX and WKRC, but their reports were pretty cut and paste. Ahem.

It amazes me that with such little info needed for this story, the story isn’t the exact same on four different news websites. That’s why it doesn’t surprise me the news we get delivered to us is always fucked up, because they hire anybody who looks good on camera instead of the gravel needed to do the job correctly. If I can’t trust four mid-market news stations to get the exact same story for something like this, then how am I supposed to believe the bigger stations giving me more important news?

I don’t. This is why I don’t trust any news source. This is why it’s all crap. Not only did the police not know which direction Galbraith went in, and I have no doubt in my mind it was the police who said the driver was headed south on Galbraith, the mindless zombie news reporters gathering the information didn’t even notice the mistake and change it or fix it or ask the officer to correct himself. If they can fuck THAT up, what else are they fucking up?

Now, forget all of that. I’m sure you already have. Here’s what I think happened.

The driver, obviously a dumbass and a terrible driver to begin with, but also drunk because of the fourth of July festivities he quite obviously had partaken in earlier in the evening, was traveling EAST bound on Galbraith, got to Vine street, turned south on Vine, just a bit, sped over the curb, onto the sidewalk, through the bushes, and into Walgreens on purpose. His ass should be charged with all of that if he isn’t already.

The reason I say that is, it is highly unlikely that he accidentally did that. There’s no way he lost control, or even passed out at the wheel and ended up inside Walgreens. The Walgreens entry way is only just barely big enough for an SUV to go through, yet he hit it perfectly AFTER driving over a curb and through bushes. Never mind the gap of parking lot he had to go through before hitting the building that would have given him more than enough time to stop before hitting the building.

The unidentified driver, Aaron Ross, drove through Walgreens on purpose. Why? Why the fuck not? It’s Hartwell, nobody will give a shit. Hell, I’m surprised anybody noticed.

5 responses to “Driver Crashes Into Walgreens

  1. Accidentally on purpose. What a moron. Yes, news reporting sucks. Just the facts? Yeah right.

  2. I’m going to talk to my children about the dangers of factor. I may also cover the Four W’s of journalism and I will definitely continue their ongoing education about directions.

    A few years ago, on post, a drunk solider leaving a domestic dispute drove into my neighbor’s house. Thankfully, no one but the driver was injured.

  3. Pingback: Walgreens Update | Beefy's House o' Fun

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