Aliens From OUTER SPACE!!!

Yeah, okay, I’m a believer. I believe in aliens. Not illegal aliens from other countries trying to break into our country for jobs and health care, that’s complete bullshit. I’m talking about ALIENS FROM OUTER SPACE!!!

Except I DO believe. In aliens, not NASA. Buy the shirt here!!!

Except I DO believe. In aliens, not NASA. Buy the shirt here!!!

You may think I’m a complete fucking idiot, and you wouldn’t be the first… or hundredth… but I’m of the belief that if you think our planet is the only one in the universe that contains life, your close mindedness scares me and you shouldn’t be able to procreate or even pass your thoughts or beliefs onto other living things, plants included.

The problem is, that used to be the thing. You either believed in aliens, or you thought we were the only living things anywhere, ever. NOW, the popular beliefs are, you either believe in aliens, or you believe there IS life elsewhere, but that it hasn’t visited us, and those who think it has visited us are complete morons. It’s like all of those people who once thought we were the only living things anywhere, ever, have changed their minds to “but they haven’t visited us” because they were sick of being complete assholes.

It is my belief that there are other beings in the universe, who are smarter than us, and who have figured out how to travel the cosmos and discover other places first hand. It is also my belief that they could have come here.

Seriously, it’s more than probable that this has happened. First of all, we’re not that intelligent ourselves. I’ve seen more than one person turn on their turn signal WHILE MAKING THEIR TURN. If we created driving and still can’t figure out how to do it correctly, our future doesn’t look so good. To say we’re the most intelligent things in the universe is a huge spotlight on the notion that we can’t possibly be the most intelligent things in the universe. We’re not the oldest. Our own planet is still a baby compared to other planets that we can see from here.

Now, while I do believe there are other humanoid creatures on other earthanoid planets who are smarter than us and have figured out how to travel to far off places in space and possibly at speeds that exceed the speed of light, I believe it’s probably pretty improbable that they’ve come here.

EXCEPT that I completely believe they have come here. We like to think that because WE haven’t discovered some other planet with humanoid life on it, and we haven’t traveled to it and implanted probes into their anuses, that nothing else can do it.

But take a look at what we can see now from our tiny, insignificant little blue ball (don’t get me started on THAT subject). Currently we can spot new planets and solar systems and galaxies that are so much farther from us than anything we spotted just a few years ago, and we’re seeing new shit all the time. We just recently discovered a new type of planet that we didn’t even know could exist.

Wrap your head around that for a moment, naysayers. FIRST: We JUST DISCOVERED it. In all of our infinite, all knowing, perfect, most intelligent species anywhere ever glory. Shouldn’t we have known about that all along? Oh, what’s that? We don’t know everything? Right. We don’t. We’re still learning shit. Who knows what we’ll learn tomorrow. Maybe how to travel faster than the speed of light. Just saying.

SECOND: We discovered a type of planet that we didn’t know could exist. Oh, so there are things out there in the universe that we, in all of our infinite, all knowing, perfect, most intelligent species anywhere ever glory, couldn’t fathom could be a thing. Imagine that. There is stuff out in our cosmos that would blow the mind of even the most creative and intelligent of our own species.

So we don’t know everything, and we have yet to discover a minuscule fraction of everything. Yet there are those of us who walk around thinking that it is impossible for a smarter race of beings to travel through space and visit us. Who the fuck are you? You’ve got to be kidding me.

I agree that of all the stars and planets and galaxies out there that it would be a complete shot in the dark for even the smartest of species to find us. BUT, maybe not. I mean, if they have the smarts to build transportation that can get them from their planet to ours relatively quickly, and that goes faster than the speed of light, then maybe they also have the technology to find us easily. Or just maybe they’ve been at it for so long that one day they just happened to discover us and thought that it would be neat to study us.

Think about this… when we discover life on another planet, we’re going to study the fuck out of it. When we discover other humanoid beings in the cosmos, we’re not only going to study the fuck out of them, but we’re probably going to overthrow the planet and make its inhabitants our slaves, because we’re assholes that way. So why wouldn’t another, even smarter, species want to study us? We should just be thankful that they haven’t decided to overthrow and enslave us. Because they could, Billy Bob. They could. Their guns are bigger than even yours. You are not the dominant species. Settle down.

Think of all the shit we’re discovering out in space on a daily basis. New, exciting stuff. We’ve only been at it, strongly, for a few decades. Sure we’ve been looking into the stars for centuries, but only lately have we really been checking things out. What if some other, more highly advanced species, has been looking into the stars really hard and deep, for centuries? Or millions of years? They’ve seen and categorized everything… but wait! A little blue planet with life on it! And they’ve built buildings and cars (and they still don’t know how to fucking drive them) and they don’t get along at all! Let’s go check them out and probe them!

Sure. I believe all of that could happen. And if you don’t, well, you’re entitled to your stupid opinion just as I’m entitled to my brilliant one.

Now, to break off from that and go in another direction. I also believe that those E.T.s could also be us, from the future, traveling back in time to see and study our own living history.

I’ve thought that for years and for a long time I thought maybe I was the only one who thought it. I never saw or read anything from anybody else that was like that. Until just now. And of all places, I saw that shit on Cracked.

They don’t get into all the details like I’ve worked out in my head, but the basic idea is there. What if extraterrestrials are just us from the future? Maybe. Once again, we don’t know. Cause we’re young and stupid. We don’t know.

I do know one thing. I’ve gone on way too long about this and I probably lost all of my readers right around the mid-way part of this piece. Anyway, to summarize, we’re not alone and uh, I believe. ‘n shit.

One response to “Aliens From OUTER SPACE!!!

  1. I actually think saying we are the only “people” in the universe is ridiculous. i just don’t think it’s knowable right now. and also, we don’t even know what all is in our oceans, or under them, so to be so arrogant about the entire universe doesn’t make any sense.
    i guess it’s like god. people believe or they don’t. i don’t really care either way, but i doubt we’re alone.

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