Where’s My Free Shit?

I’m going to divert from the recent personal postings back to the bitching side of things. Because I’ve fucking had enough.

Across the street from my work is a hotel and recently they were bought out and the lady who used to work at the front desk third shift is no longer there. It sucks, because she was cool as hell and ordered all the time. Because she was cool as hell, I didn’t have a problem delivering to her.

She has been replaced by these fucks. One of them is nice, but this other fuck, I swear to fucking bejeezus I can’t deal with him anymore. The last time I delivered to him he asked me in his Indian accent, “Since we’re right across the street and order from you a lot, can we get some kind of discount?” My response was, “No. I work for them and I don’t get a discount.”

I said something else to him but I have to explain this first. We have a hotel program (a lot of pizza places do) where if we deliver to the hotel we’ll sign a paper. If they get ten signatures, they can get a free large pizza. It’s our way of saying thanks for giving us business.

So after I said I didn’t get a discount I added, “If you get ten signatures you get a free pizza. That’s more than I get.” And I turned and left.

Tonight that same fuck called and of course I had to be the one to answer the phone. This is exactly how the conversation went, sans me asking him to repeat himself 100 times because I couldn’t understand what the fuck he was saying.

Him: What is the cheapest large pizza you have?
Me: Large cheese, $9.99.
Him: How much for one topping?
Me: $11.49.
Him: Can you give me a large one topping for $9.99?
Me: No.
Him: I’m at the hotel across the street and we order all the time from you. Can’t you give me a discount?
Me: No. I’m not the boss, I’m just an employee and I have to charge you what the computer says to charge you. If you want a discount, talk to the boss when he comes in later.

He ordered anyway at $11.49. I was so excited to tell him there was a $2 delivery fee on top of the $11.49.

A week or two ago I took an order to this nursing home. We go there a lot late night, but this was the first time I’ve ever delivered to this particular woman. I’ve never had any issues with the women I deliver to there, but this one…

She asked me, in all seriousness, if I had any free samples for her. I said no. Continuing with the seriousness, she rolled her neck and said, “The LAST guy who delivered to me brought me free samples.”

GOOD FOR FUCKING HIM, CUNT. She stiffed me, obviously pissed because I didn’t give her fat ass anything for free.

I’m so goddamn sick and fucking tired of people thinking they’re owed something, or that they need to get shit for free all the time.

Quit being a fucking bum, you fucking bum. If you want to be homeless then be fucking homeless. Either pay for everything you want to purchase or don’t pay for anything at all. Stop being a fucking asshole about it. I’m sick of this shit. I don’t owe you a goddamn thing, and don’t fucking talk to me like I do.

I swear to god the next fucking person who starts begging for free shit from me is going to get cussed out. I don’t care if I lose my job over it. Fuck them and fuck that.

In both instances I delivered to those people at their jobs. They’re fucking working, and I know it ain’t for free. I don’t get to order delivery, ever. But they were. That means they have MORE than me. And their cheap ass is going to BEG from someone who has LESS THAN THEM?

Godfuckingdammit, quit being such a bitch! I know too many people who fucking beg. You look like a piece of shit when you do that. Just so you know. If you’re the type of person who is always trying to get more for less, do me a favor and break your own fucking neck. Please. Climb to the top of your house and jump off, head first. If you can, have someone record the sound of your neck breaking and email me that sound so I can listen to it and feel the satisfaction of knowing there’s one less piece of fucking trash in this world.

Fuck you. Die.

7 responses to “Where’s My Free Shit?

  1. Ugh. Everyone’s entitled in their own minds. Not worth losing your job. Pre clear this with your boss before you do it,.so you don’t get in trouble. When you get to the nursing home, ask the bitch if she can give you a free sample case of that protein drink that they serve the residents (they have to inventory that shit). Chances are, she’ll say, “I can’t do that.” And then you can politely respond, “that’s too bad. May I ask why?” As far as the hotel guy, he can save 2$ every time if he walks his lazy ass across the street.

  2. It’s worth haggling at yard sales or over something on Craiglist. Last week, I had to have a truckload of large boxes picked-up, so I called six different ads. The prices varied from $45-80. I ended up choosing the $50 guy because he’s closest, and I might need him again. I did mention to the $80-guy that his rates are outrageous, to see if he would come down, but he didn’t. The $65-guy said the lowest he could go was $45.
    When I worked at schools, we always got discounts on pizza, because when you order $300 worth, they tend to cut you a deal. You know how I got those deals? By talking to the owner of the pizza place. By guaranteeing one $300 order each month of the school year.

    One cannot haggle with employees. One can only haggle with the owner. The people you’re dealing with are idiots.

    I think this happens in retail quite a bit. My SIL works at Bath & Body Works, and she often gets customers who tell her, “But Sue on Fourth gives me leftover testers or free hand sanitizer.” Her reply is, “Wow! That’s great! You must have really cultivated a relationship with Sue. She must feel you’re a loyal customer. Why have you come to our store today?” She’s so pretty, and so nice, people dunno what to say to her after that. But stuff like that happens to her all the time, and it’s a giant corporation! She’d like to choke them.

    I like that the hotel clerk hadda pay delivery. I lol’d.

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