Here, Try This!

Do you know what I fucking hate? When you’re force fed something, by something or somebody, when you don’t care to have it at all. Sometimes it can be knowledge or info of some kind. But what pisses me off completely are services. Services you have no control over, and no need for. Like Facebook making a ton of changes to their service that only make using their product worse, yet you have no control over if you get those changes or not.

Or my “smart” phone, and I do use that term very loosely. It has a severe weather alert on it that can’t be turned off. If it can be turned off, I never found it and wasted over an hour looking for it one day. I don’t give a shit about severe weather. I don’t live in New Orleans. I do live in Ohio though, and I’m used to severe weather and severe changes in weather.

What’s that? It’s going to rain? Heavily? I think I’ll survive. But thank you for sending me an annoying notification on my phone that I can’t turn off telling me about it. I appreciate it. Mankind appreciates it. The survival of humanity appreciates it.

Because humans, in all their infinite glory, just showed up on earth, and we would never have made it as a species if we had to deal with unexpected things like severe weather.

So now I know about a flash flood that could potentially happen. It’s not absolutely positively going to happen, it just COULD happen. And I know now that it could. And if it does, it COULD affect me, but it won’t. Because in all of history, and all of the flash floods that have happened, I haven’t seen one, ever, never mind actually being affected by one.

Oh, look outside! All of the people who got that warning on their phones! Look at them all! How smart of them! Sitting in their rafts, on the sidewalks and in their yards! I’m sure there are some in their houses, sitting in their rafts, waiting for the flash flood that is going to come and ruin all of our lives! I see them doing that each and every time there’s a flash flood warning, more so, now that Google and Android give us these warnings without us wanting or needing them! Thank you for saving our lives Google and Android!

A flash flood isn’t going to happen in my bedroom, I’m sure of it. Yet I needed to be awakened two hours earlier than I wanted to be. Ah, the reason I spent time writing this. You see, the warning was to potentially keep me from being affected negatively by a flash flood, the chances of which are slim to fucking none. BUT, the chances of me being negatively affected by the LOUDLY ANNOYING, OBTRUSIVE, CAN’T BE TURNED OFF CELL PHONE WARNING MESSAGE, are great.

Why did I bother setting an alarm on the very same phone? I didn’t really want to be awaken at a certain time. I didn’t really want to get that sleep. I have to work 10 hours today after getting very little sleep as it is, so why would I want all the sleep I can get? I’ll only be driving around. In heavy traffic. Oh, and apparently in a very heavy rainfall that could cause flash floods. Thankfully I’ll be tired and pissed off while I have to drive in those conditions.

Thank you, Android and Google, for waking me up for no good fucking reason at all, other than you had to shove your product into my life whether I wanted it or not. Thank you. I really appreciate that. From now on I’ll just not set my alarm… I’ll not use a product that I WANT to use, just in case a product I don’t want to use, and isn’t needed at all, is forced into my life by YOU. Thank you, and fuck off.

5 responses to “Here, Try This!

  1. My weather alert went off and scared me right into an anxiety attack! Mine is an iPhone4. What is your phone? Mine’s under Settings, Notification Center, Government Alerts, Emergency Alert. My friend had to tell me, I had no idea.

  2. Ugh. That fucking sucks. And sleeping is so overrated…not.

    I somehow manage to not get those alerts, but that’s ok, I don’t feel left out because everyone around me gets them. You can hear the collective gasp at the potential for the latest weather disaster. Someone actually asked if we could go home early because the thunderstorms may…MAY contain hail and she didn’t want to be in it.

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