Delivery Tales: Where’s Waldo?

A week or two ago I was talking to one of the other drivers where I work and we were swapping crazy delivery stories. He told me he once delivered to an apartment building late night. The guy who answered the door was wearing a rabbit costume and after he paid for the order he asked the driver if he wanted to join the orgy he was a part of inside. The driver said no, as he was loyal to his girlfriend, and he left.

That’s a pretty good story. Here’s another one.

We close at 3 AM during the week, and tonight I took an order five minutes before we closed, and it was my delivery. We closed up the shop and I took my delivery out, just down the street from where I work, to an apartment complex.

After I found the building I went inside and up the steps to the second floor. I found the apartment I needed and knocked on the door. A few seconds later the door flies open and this guy dressed very funny walks out to me in a hurry, eyes squinted and peering at me through a goofy set of glasses, and he angrily says to me just above a whisper, “Dude, how did you find me?”

I was stunned silent for a minute. I thought the guy was going to attack me, but I couldn’t get over his clothes. Again he said, “Dude, how’d you find me?!” The whole situation had me confused for a moment and all I could say was, “What?”

He leaned in to me a little more and said, “How did you find me?!”

That’s when I realized he was dressed up like Waldo. I smiled and said, “I’m that good. And I used GPS.”

He stared at me for a moment longer, then spun around, walked back into the apartment as fast as he came out, and slammed the door behind him.

Just then out of the corner of my eye I saw movement coming down the staircase next to me and I heard, “That’s for me.” I looked around and saw a guy in a rabbit costume coming down the steps. He was very nice and paid me, didn’t say anything about the Waldo guy, took his order and turned to go back up the steps. The back of his costume was unzipped and all he was wearing under it was his underwear.

I was not invited to an orgy.

For your enjoyment (click to make it larger, heh):

14 responses to “Delivery Tales: Where’s Waldo?

  1. I don’t think I want to trade jobs…too traumatic.

  2. Dafuq? You should keep collecting these stories…and publish them.

    • I can’t really remember any crazy stories from when I last delivered pizzas. I don’t think anything insane happened then. But then I wasn’t delivering at 3 AM. Seems the true weirdos come out late. I’m not sure if there’s some sort of legality thing there, since I’d be publishing stories about other people without their consent, but as long as they’re happening, I’ll be writing about them.

  3. Can’t believe you didn’t join the rabbit orgy! C’mon, your girlfriend would have understood that you simply don’t pass up opportunities like that!

  4. LOL! You really could write a series of stories! Good stuff!

  5. Pingback: Delivery Tales: The High And The Mighty | Beefy's House o' Fun

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