Crazy Bitch

I started delivering pizza for the company I work for back in July of 2013. As of right now roughly five and a half months ago. When I first started working there I also started going into the Speedway gas station near the shop, mostly because I work third and it’s one of the few places open around there, and also because that’s typically the only brand of gas I’ll buy anyway. So when I first started going in there, I noticed this woman who works there. When I got back to the shop I mentioned how she was really attractive. She’s short, nice body, long straight red hair and she’s pretty. My boss told me he had been talking to her and they were supposed to date.

A little while later I find out they had gone on a date and that was that. Everything went fine and they may or may not see each other again. That was basically what my boss told me. And nothing more was said.

I went into work a couple nights later and was told by several employees that on one of the nights I wasn’t there, she came into the store and stood at the front counter, just staring at my boss. He’d ask her if she needed anything and she’d say no. So he would go back to work and she would just stand there staring. For almost an hour. Apparently at some point she asked him to return her belt and he said he never had her belt and knew nothing about a belt.

Suddenly they look around and she’s gone from the lobby, but she’s now in her car parked right in front of the store, and she’s staring at him from her car. For something like three hours.

And then she’s gone. Nobody saw her leave, but her car was still there and it stayed there over night. The next day it was just gone and nobody saw who came to get it.

A few days later I stopped in to that Speedway and saw this older man there and he asked me if my boss still worked at the shop because he hadn’t seen him in a while. This guy apparently wasn’t aware that my boss is the owner of the store. So he begins to tell me the stuff that she told him, and of course he’s buying into it because he’s obviously going to take her side, and he’s only getting her side of the story anyway.

He tells me that they had gone out to eat at some sports bar restaurant type place nearby and were having dinner and some drinks together. She got up to go to the bathroom and when she came back she caught him masturbating under the table and filming it with his cell phone.

I just stared at the man telling me this. Seriously? He heard her tell him this and he bought it all? Lapped it right up, just like a loyal dog.

He then asks me if I had seen the video. I asked him if he meant the video on the phone of my boss masturbating. I said no, there was no video that anybody at the store had heard of, and the man got a sly grin on his face. I then mentioned how at that point I had only been there a month and I really didn’t know anybody there that well, but I seriously doubted that happened. His sly grin grew. I then told him what I had heard, about her standing in the lobby and then sitting in her car for hours on end. He asked me if I witnessed it. I said I had not, but several employees had, and there is footage of it because we have about eight cameras in the store that record 24/7 and at least two of them caught her pulling her crazy shit. His grin faded.

The next night at work I told everybody what happened and we laughed and had a good time. My boss said they had gone to the place, had dinner and some drinks, and then they went home and that was it. That was the date. I bought it a little more than her story.

All of this happened near the end of August, 2013.

Towards the end of September I went in and heard directly from her that she was pregnant with my boss’s baby. She said that she was going to work less at Speedway and pick up more hours at her other job as a waitress, because they were more flexible with her hours, and she would need them to be for all of the new mother/doctor stuff she’d be doing in the near future. I congratulated her, just playing along, and went on my way.

I told my boss and the other employees this and we all laughed. We all wondered how it happened since they never had sex. Maybe, it was suggested, while masturbating at the table, when he came it shot across the underside of the table and right up into her and she got pregnant that way.

A few days later I was at another station up the road a couple miles from the crazy store. I spoke with a manager there and he knew exactly who I was talking about. He told me that apparently she was telling others that she was pregnant, but that the father could be one of three men and that she was going to have a test done to figure out who it was.

And then I saw her once or twice the following week, and then she was gone. It seemed a whole new crew came in, because I no longer saw the old man there either. They both disappeared at the same time. I had all but forgotten about her when just this very last night I went in and there she was. Just as thin and attractive and psycho as she was before.

Me: Hey, a familiar face! Welcome back stranger!
Her: Thanks! I was on maternity leave.

I froze in my tracks and just stared at her. My mind quickly raced as I tried to figure out just when it had last been that I saw her. Had it been nine months already? There’s no fucking way. I had only been working at that pizza place since July and that sure wasn’t nine fucking months ago…

Her: YAY! I’m skinny again!

It really sank in then. It HADN’T been nine months and she not only gestated, but gave birth AND lost the weight. In what… three months?!

Unbelievable. What a crazy fucking bitch. I had also heard at some point during all of that, that she was apparently the mother of six children already. Regardless if that number is true, I’m sure she has at least one or two kids. She talks about them all the time.

Giving her the benefit of the doubt and saying she’s given birth at least once in her life, even though she’s obviously got a few screws lose, even she should know that it takes nine months to have a baby. Maybe eight. Maybe ten. But to have a living baby in just…

Woah… did she get an abortion?

I also heard she has had quite a few of those over the years as well. Damn.

What a crazy fucking bitch of a bitch. That’s ok, now that I know she’s back I know I can stop going there again. No problem. And I suggest all of you do, too. Just stop going to that location. Who knows… you might walk by her and get her pregnant. It’s cool though, she’ll just go kill it a couple months later. She’s got an open tab at the clinic, she’ll be fine.

5 responses to “Crazy Bitch

  1. I have known some crazy-ass bitches in my time, but THAT takes the cake!

  2. You are NOT the father!

  3. Damn. Poor guy. Who knew someone’s swimmers could be so powerful as to impregnate someone under the table, without actual contact? He better be careful. All joking aside, she needs help.

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