Jobs Suck

Working sucks. It all sucks. Society tells us that in order to live a fulfilling life we have to have a job and we have to have money. As such, being unemployed isn’t a good way to go, yet a ton of us are unemployed because our economy sucks. That doesn’t mean there aren’t jobs out there. Oh, there are. But what are you willing to do to make money?

I haven’t been writing lately (on anything, books, stories, blogs) because I’ve been basically depressed. Uninspired to do anything creative. I’ve had plenty of time because I’ve been unemployed for the better part of forever. While I absolutely abhor working, I know I HAVE to because that’s what society says I must do. I was never asked about this, I didn’t attend any meetings about it. That’s just the way things are. I was born into it just like all of you (unless you were born with a silver spoon shoved down your throat).

What I have been doing is spending my time filling out applications online to a plethora of jobs I really don’t want because it’s all I can get. What I might like to do I can’t do because those jobs require you have experience. And you can’t get experience unless you get one of those jobs. They do this so that they never have to hire anybody for those jobs. If you can’t do it before you’re hired, you’re fucked. Never mind that after you’re hired they’ll most likely train you at that job. Make sense? Of course not. That’s one of the reasons why the job market sucks.

I also just found out that applying online, which almost every job wants you to do nowadays, is worthless. Totally. Yet what can you do when a company won’t accept paper applications?

I’ve literally filled out dozens of applications over the last couple of months, all online, and I’ve heard back from NONE of them. But I do have a story to share.

As much as I didn’t want to do it, I applied to Taco Bell. Never in my life have I worked fast food. Ever. I guess I’m lucky that way. But I need a job and at this point any job will do, right? I’m 33 years old and applying to Taco Bell. What have I done with my life?

I applied online, as they suggest you do. I heard nothing. The particular Taco Bell I applied to had on their marquee that they were conducting open interviews, so I dressed up and went to one. I sat down and waited, only to find out that they couldn’t access their online applications, so I had to fill out a paper one while I waited for my interview. COME THE FUCK AGAIN?! That should have been my first clue, but I filled it out.

The manager sat down with me and gave me an “interview.” If you take nothing away from this blog piece, take this away from it. If during an interview the hiring manager, or whomever interviews you does nothing but talk about themselves the entire time and literally doesn’t give two shits about you or why you’re there, you probably don’t want that job. And that’s what this manager did, he gave me his life story including the 17 years he’s worked for Taco Bell and how it was his first job out of high school.

He then hired me on the spot. He didn’t ask me shit about me other than when I was available to work. That was clue number two. But, I took the job.

I went in for my first day of work and absolutely hated it. HATED IT. It was the single worst job I’ve ever had, and I’ve had some horrible fucking jobs. I used to walk door to door selling alternate choices for natural gas for your home and never got paid for the work I did, the company soon folding after I left. I also walked door to door to businesses trying to sell knockoff perfume and cologne. I’d do both of those a thousand times over if I never have to work in a fast food place again.

As I made taco after taco I witnessed some things. First of all, there was a kid working there who had just got out of jail and was on probation. He told me he needed that job because he was a single father and needed to support his kid. I felt for him. It was his sixth day there. He pulled me aside just after I started and told me that if I had any questions about the job to ask him or another employee, to not ask a manager because I would get yelled at. I then discovered that on his third day he asked if a certain burrito got tomatoes on it and the guy who hired me not only yelled at him for not knowing (on his THIRD DAY) but he cut his hours in half to punish him for not knowing. The kid had to walk out for a minute because he was so upset he cried. As he said through tears, he needed those hours and that money to support his kid that he was raising by himself.

Really? Was it that fucking serious that he lost half his hours? On his third day on the job he’s supposed to know everything? And they don’t offer training. Training to them is throwing you in the job and expecting results.

Also while I was there a girl came up to me and asked me a question. I told her I didn’t know because it was my first day and she said it was hers too. Turns out she was the only one, completely unsupervised, running the only register open at the front counter. During dinner.

I took a step back, looked around and realized something. I’m at a fast food place. Turnover rate is high. I’m not in high school anymore and I don’t want to be a lifer like the fucking asshole manager who yells at a kid for not knowing something on his third day.

Never mind the work space was extremely tight and was only going to get worse as summer hit and even though I’m not claustrophobic, I was feeling it that day. I left an hour early from my shift and didn’t go back. Even though I need a job, I still have my fucking dignity.

Which brings me to now. I got a job at our local amusement park as a security officer. I still haven’t started yet and oh man, I’m not going to get into why. But here’s what I had to do to get this job. Amazingly I filled out an application online and actually heard back from them a day or two later.

I filled out the application online. Went to an interview. I had to have a background check done on me, which I just had finalized. THEN, I had to print and fill out two packets, over 20 pages of stuff. I have to take that with me to orientation. I have that orientation to go to, as well as a training period, and then I’ll find out if I actually get the job or not. I also had to shave my goatee that I’ve had for 15 years and I can’t have any revealing tattoos. So in the summer I’ll be working outside with either long sleeve shirts on or an Ace bandage wrapped around my forearm covering my tattoo. I can’t see how my arm wrapped up in a bandage making me look like a fucking burn victim is better to look at than a tattoo, but whatever. Also, I have to pass a drug test.

This is by far the most shit I’ve ever had to do for any job I’ve ever had, ever. And for what? A measly 50 cents more than minimum wage.

About that drug test… I’m hoping I pass. I SHOULD, but that doesn’t mean I will. I haven’t smoked any weed in the last month. While that’s more than enough time to rid your system of THC, the suggested recommended time for pure cleanliness is 2-3 months, so I’m still a bit worried.

So yeah, add that into all the shit I had to do for this job. I had to quit smoking, and as you should know, I’m a huge believer in the legalization of weed, because really, why the fuck not? Test after test have shown us that it’s not nearly as bad for you as the government wants you to think it is. And just because they say it’s illegal doesn’t mean shit. I trust our government as far as I can throw them.

I’ve done all of this for this job and I truly hope it all goes well and I actually get it, but if I don’t I won’t be upset. Because fuck them, regardless if I get it or not. They made me jump a hundred hurdles for this job and they’re barely going to pay me for it. I won’t even be making enough at the job to buy more paper and ink for my printer that they made me use up printing out all of this shit I need.

The fact of the matter is, I need the job, but I really don’t want it. Why? Because I don’t want to work at all. No, I’m not lazy (in that respect), I just don’t believe in working for someone who lives a very comfortable lifestyle while I barely get by. That’s not fair. I don’t believe in a society where I HAVE to work and I HAVE to have a ton of money just to live. No, I’m not a hippie, but seriously, fuck all that noise.

As soon as I get some checks coming in I’m going to play the lottery full time. And if I hit it big I’m never working again. As a matter of fact, I’m buying myself a little land, putting myself a little house there and aside from this blog and maybe Facebook, nobody is ever going to hear from or see me again.

I want out. I’m done here.

So if you’re like me and you need a job, don’t waste your time filling out shit online. It’ll get you nowhere, literally. A recent report (I can’t link to cause I can’t find it now, sorry) says that only about 2-5% of people who have jobs got them online. That’s it, and I’m one of them now.

And keep your dignity. Sure a job is a job, but you have to be somewhat happy at it or you’re going to cry yourself to sleep at night. I’ll admit it… after that shitty day at Taco Bell I came home and cried my eyes out to my wife. I had hit rock bottom. I wasn’t doing that shit anymore, and I shouldn’t have to. I have TWO FUCKING DEGREES from post high school learning, one of which is a certification in Microsoft.

I apologized to my wife over and over, sobbed and sobbed and swore that I would do what I had to do to never have to work at a shitty job again. That’s why I quit smoking weed. That doesn’t mean I WANTED to, but I HAD to. Just like working. I don’t want to, but I have to.

Do what you have to to get by, but know that if you’re applying online to jobs, you’re probably not going to get anywhere. Go out and fill out applications, and if they don’t accept applications, find a generic one online, print it out, fill it out and take it to them. By them telling you that they only accept online applications is like they’re laughing in your unemployed face. Fuck that and fuck them. If you want the job, you’ll go get it however you have to. Just don’t be a number like the THOUSANDS who are applying online and also being ignored. If you think you’re better than that, then go get a job as if you ARE better than that.

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