Burger King, You Suck!

When I was a teenager I was a huge fan of BK. More so than McDonald’s or any other fast food place. The Whopper was the shit. Their fries ruled. They kicked ass.

And then they started changing shit. I believe it was somewhere around 1998 (give or take a year or two) when they first changed their fries. It was huge news. Most people were outraged. I loved the new fries.

And then things started really going down hill. The Whopper suddenly wasn’t such a Whopper anymore. It seemed as if they were putting less and less beef on them.

I slowly began not eating there anymore. The fries started changing, it seemed, once every couple of years as did BK’s menu. They kept bringing out new things and trying new marketing strategies, but it all seemed hopeless. They seemed to be a restaurant in a personality crisis. They didn’t know who or what they wanted to be. They were no longer the king.

In the past few years my wife and I haven’t bothered eating there but maybe once a year. Tonight was our once for this year. We stopped at, note the exact location:

Burger King #7809
5558 Kings Mills Road
Mason, OH 45040


We pulled up to the drive-thru completely unsure of what to expect, since they’re constantly changing things. I figured the Whopper would be on the menu as it is their flagship burger. I noticed a few of the other sandwiches, but also noticed a bunch of new stuff. Since I didn’t want to try something new as that usually kicks me in the ass, I opted for a Whopper. My wife got a couple double cheeseburgers. She was planning on taking some of it to work with her and eating it later.

When we got to the window I asked the lady if I could add another burger onto the order, per my wife’s request. The lady, who appeared to be a manager, huffed and put the burger on our ticket and called out to the “cooks” that she needed another one.

We sat there patiently waiting for our food. Just as she come walking up to the window with our two bags (I’m really unsure of why we needed two bags) I asked her politely if we could have some ranch. My exact words were, “I’m sorry, but may we have some ranch please?”

She quite literally spun around, growled out loud and went to get the ranch. Keep in mind this woman appeared to be in her 50’s, so either her life turned out exactly how she wanted it, or it didn’t. I’m guessing it didn’t.

She tossed the ranch into one of the bags and then forcefully shoved them out of the window towards me. At first I thought she was going to throw them into my car, and then I literally thought if I didn’t grab them fast enough she would drop them and be on her way, so I grabbed them the best I could and she took off.

This is a case of mistaken identity. She obviously mistook me for someone who wouldn’t say shit about her shitty customer service skills. What she doesn’t know is that I’m one of Taco Bell’s most hated for how many times I’ve called to complain about their shitty service (one specific location, which is now closed and I like to believe I closed it). She also doesn’t know how many times I’ve called to complain about the one Burger King I used to go to all the time, back when it first really started to suck. She also doesn’t know how many times I’ve called on various McDonald’s for their shitty service.

Look, I get it. Working in fast food sucks. I’m about to find that out more-so than ever as I just landed a job at a Taco Bell to help get me by until I can find something better. But you know what? In an economy like the one we have now, where people are begging for work in record numbers, there are jobs out there at these shitty fast food establishments. Yes, it sucks, but it’s a fucking job and it pays money, more so than unemployment is probably giving you.

I know working there sucks, but nobody’s forcing you to work there. If you don’t like it, go find something better or suck it up and be thankful you have a fucking job. If you have a shitty day, leave it at the door. Customer service, despite the myth, is actually very easy. As much as I fucking loathe people, I’m excellent at customer service because it’s so fucking simple.

If you’re bad at customer service it means only one thing. Not that your job sucks or that customers suck or anything else sucks, it means you suck. If you can’t figure out how to give good customer service, you’re pathetic and you deserve a shitty job.

Oh yeah, and their fries? Looks like they’ve been changed again since the last time I had them sometime last year. And their sizes suck. This, apparently, is a large.

My camera couldn't quite capture just how small of an order this large fry was.

My camera couldn’t quite capture just how small of an order this large fry was.

Fuck you Burger King, I’m not going back, just like I stated in my email I sent to your company. That’s right folks, I reported this bitch and her shitty service. I’m not playing games with these fucks. You give me a reason to bitch, I’m going to the top to do it. That’s also why I posted their address above, so should you be in the area and want to fuck with someone who obviously hates her job, by all means. I would have shared her name with you had I known it. Also, the Wendy’s across the street from there sucks hardcore too.

9 responses to “Burger King, You Suck!

  1. Reblogged this on cftc10.

  2. Perhaps your expectations are too high. These restaurants claim to offer good food at a good price. I think they offer food for those of us who don’t feel like cooking and don’t want to spend money to eat someplace better

  3. I don’t know what it is up there. I hardly ever have problems at any of the places down here.

  4. Thanks for the warning. Besides a customer service fail, those fries look rancid.

    • They sucked hard. I’m actually glad their large was small. If I had any more of those fries to eat I wouldn’t have eaten them. I barely only got through those because the bitch of a manager gave me a bunch of dipping sauces that we didn’t ask for, and I used those on the fries.

  5. actually,burger king’s burgers are more tasty rather than others. but unfortunately the one who works there are a real piece of fucking shit!!
    the multi unit managers are the one who ruin all the standard of BKC.
    Those assholes should be kicked off by BKC

    • In your opinion they’re more tasty, of course. I used to think that years ago, but lately not so much. They’ve really let themselves go. I agree about their managers though, they always seem to be douches.

  6. Pingback: Wendy’s Is A Pile Of Shit | Beefy's House o' Fun

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