Suck Dynasty

I’m so god damned sick of seeing or hearing about the show “Duck Dynasty.” If you have no idea what show I’m talking about, I’m so jealous of you.


The show is about a rich hillbilly family and their constant shenanigans. I watched the first 3 or 4 episodes when the show first came out because of the build up to it. The promos they had been running on the show for weeks up to its pilot episode made me want to see it. They had some awesome rock n roll featuring hilarious parts of the show in them, how could I not watch?

And then I watched it. What I saw was this.

They’re rich and they show it off. I hate rich, smug people.

They have a multi-million dollar family owned and operated business that they fuck up and destroy all the time. I wish I had that kind of multi-million dollar operation that I could ruin and still have it be successful.

This show is basically about one thing. Rich people and the crazy stuff they do because they can. The only reason it’s watchable for us northerners is because they’re hillbillies and hillbillies do things to entertain themselves that we’re not used to. So we’re watching and laughing at these guys and their crazy hillbilly down south ways. In essence, this show is making fun of hillbillies. Two great shows, Futurama and Family Guy, you may have heard of them, were once kicked off the air because they made fun of hillbillies. And now a network is banking off of that very thing, blatantly. I don’t find that entertaining.

And their wives are all hot. I’m going to move to the south where the women love ugly idiots. I’ll be a king there. Unless you have to be a RICH ugly idiot, in which case I’m still screwed.

I’m so sick of this show. This is one reason I’m glad I don’t have cable anymore.

19 responses to “Suck Dynasty

  1. You can never go broke in America appealing to the lowest common denominator

  2. Oy. I’m so glad you see the dispair in this horrible show.
    Reality tv has made me hate people even more.

    • I’m glad I’m not alone! I was expecting a whole bunch of hate from this (and I’ll probably still get it) but so far it’s been almost all good responses. Of course I mean “good” as in people agreeing with me lol. Yeah, I hate people too.

      • More important than “people”, but I detest Rednecks…
        And lord knows the fascination with them, or else TLC would surely bankrupt.

      • Because of a rant I did on rednecks once I lost part of my family. It’s a little more complex than that, but not by much. My cousin thinks because he listens to new country, watches NASCAR and drinks Miller Lite that he’s a redneck, when he’s grown up in white suburbia in a yuppie family. I’m with you, I can’t stands em.

      • Hehehehe….I’d love him, I’m sure. 🙂

      • Truly. And by the way, I love your blog. I find the art totally helps to bring the written work into focus, set its tone, mood and pace… very well done. I enjoyed it thoroughly.

      • Thank you, Beefy.
        I love your sarcastic nature. It always brings me plenty of smiles, as soooooo much is sooooo serious, nowadays. It’s a pleasure to meet a like-minded person.

      • I’m glad my sarcasm didn’t drive you away, as such is the case usually. It is definitely a pleasure to meet you 🙂

  3. I’m one of the lucky ones…never heard of it before now…never watched it (obviously) and never will.

    • I’d like to say I’m envious of you for not watching TV, but I haven’t watched any in a long time now, so I guess I’m just like you in that respect, and my life has been better without it.

      • Yeah, unfortunately suck like this made it past your filter. Joan rivers I kissed a girl made it past mine on a trip home…things happen. Whatever.

  4. My husband loves this show! He tapes every episode. I’m just glad he has earphones.

  5. I see the commercials for it all the time, but I have never watched it. I don’t understand the premise, so it has no appeal to me. Wait! Is there a premise?

    • Yup. A hillbilly family has so much money that they do stupid shit for a half an hour each week instead of having any sort of self control or responsibilities. They run their family business into the ground, even though for some reason it’s still successful and they’re basically just idiots.

  6. You do realize that the show is completely fake right?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s