Kroger’s Gas Station Sucks

You know, I’m all for a gas station selling GAS. That’s what the fuck they do. Service stations, as they used to be called, actually not only sold gas, but everything you needed for your car. You could even have your car worked on at a gas station. Those were the days.

Now it’s all about merchandise. You can go to a gas station now and buy anything, from soda to chips to cigarettes to beer to fucking clothes, cell phones, you name it. Some gas stations even have restaurants in them. You can literally go out for dinner to a gas station.

Oh how I wish we could go back to the good old days. With the exception of Kroger’s Gas Stations. They prove that all of that extra stuff can be a good thing, because Kroger’s Gas Stations don’t offer you much more than shit.

Heavily influenced by the gas station near my house, I can’t help but wish I could go somewhere else for gas. I mean, I COULD, but I’d be driving out of my way for it. I literally don’t have to leave my street or a block’s distance to go to the Kroger Gas Station by my house. Yet here’s the problem.

First, they HAD pop machines. I could choose between a Pepsi machine and a Coke machine if I wanted bottles, for just $1.25. Great price, decent selection. They also had an awesome can machine that sold Big K pop for $.35 a can. Awesome. I could go there at any time, whether the station was open or not, and get a pop.

They got rid of those machines and replaced them with coolers that hold nothing but 20 ounce bottles of pop. Again I got the same selection as before, sans the Big K, only the price went up from $1.25 to $1.86 for a bottle. Also, they lock the fucking coolers up AN HOUR BEFORE THEY CLOSE. Make sense? Hardly. And the lazy ass attendants won’t come out and unlock one for you if you’re thirsty. You could literally be dehydrating to death and will continue to do so if it’s between 10 and 11 PM because they won’t do it.

Two, in the warm months they used to sell Big K soda by the 2 liter at the gas station. Again, they no longer do this. More people would buy that at $.87 a 2 liter than they would $1.86 for a 20 ounce.

Three, their customer service SUCKS. Almost every one of the employees they have working the gas station is an asshole. Especially at mine, where one older black lady is a fucking racist against white people. I’ve literally seen her go from smiling and courteous to the black customer in front of me to a frown and no greeting, no “hello,” “what can I get for you,” “how are you doing today,” nothing for me and back to the smile and “how can I help you” to the black customer behind me.

Also, there’s this.



You should never have to buy gasoline from a fucking kiosk. Kiosks are little booths in shopping malls that sell cell phones, jewelry, and Dippin’ Dots. Not fucking gasoline. This in and of itself displays the problem with Kroger’s Gas. They sell it from a fucking kiosk.

I once bought a baja jacket from a kiosk. Remember those 90s atrocities? Yeah, but I never bought gas from a kiosk until I started going to Kroger.

There should be a law that a grocery store can’t sell gas. The two go hand in hand like, well, gasoline and clothes. It just shouldn’t happen.

Hey Kroger, you suck. You suck so much that I developed my own magic trick just for you. Wanna see it? Here it is.

Ta da.

7 responses to “Kroger’s Gas Station Sucks

  1. LOL at the hat trick.
    When I began driving, we had a neighborhood Sunoco, where a guy named Bill provided full service; regular maintenance, engine repair, tires…you couldn’t get much in the way of snacks or soda, but he had some for sale. What he did have was free fresh coffee for anyone who stopped in. Bill retired in 2000. The man who bought Bill’s business took the “shop” aspect of it and turned it into a convenience store. That Sunoco went out of business in 2006, because convenience is not service.

    • Absolutely. I’ve watched a few stations around here make that transition and close shop. It’s horrible how trends go. I just can’t figure out why anybody would need to go to a gas station to buy a t-shirt or pants.

  2. There is a Kroger gas station going up by my mom’s place. Thanks for the warning.

    • I’ve had experience with maybe 4 or 5 of them and I haven’t had a bad experience with all of them, just mostly the one by my house and the next closest one. Not all are totally horrible. But if you want to get something to drink or some chips or whatever, go to a real gas station, not a fucking kiosk.

  3. Kroger sucks. All the way around. They’re expensive and the customer service rep at the kiosk is normally blunt and unhelpful. At least, at the one in Union. And that’s as white bread as it gets out there. Fuck Kroger.

    • Glad I’m not the only one who sees it. I was at the one in Mason up from where you work once and they’re the same way, and if that ain’t white bread I don’t know what is. It’s just that job apparently. Too bad I HAVE to shop at Kroger, although lately we’ve been doing our shopping at Walmart and enjoying every bit of it.

  4. Pingback: Out of Gas | Cheri Speak

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