Daily Prompt: Sliced Bread

Most of us have heard the saying, “That’s the best thing since sliced bread!” What do you think is actually the best thing since sliced bread?

That’s easy. The best thing since sliced bread is unsliced bread. I mean really, think about it. You can get sliced bread anywhere nowadays and by the truckload. But to find a decent loaf of unsliced bread requires that you find yourself a bakery or do it yourself.

So why would you want unsliced bread? So that you can slice the bread any thickness you want. You can even buy bread slicer boards that help you to cut the entire loaf evenly. They wouldn’t make those if having an unsliced loaf of bread didn’t kick ass.

Also with an unsliced loaf you can slice it down the side from end to end and make yourself a giant sandwich. Subway style, only Unshittier™ because you made it yourself. You can use all of the actual fresh ingredients you want, unlike being limited to whatever Subway carries.

I'd like a footlong with Amy Yasbeck on it.

I’d like a footlong with Amy Yasbeck on it.

Besides, I’m so sick of things being made without their staple now. Like unsliced bread. It was great, but then they had to slice it for you. What about Chinese food now without MSG? What if I WANT MSG in my food? Did you think of that?

How about all of these foods that are now being made with less cholesterol or fat or sodium? What if I want all that shit? Stop taking things away from me! It’s MY choice, not yours.

And that’s what it’s all about. CHOICE. If you aren’t given a choice in the matter then how are you expected to be able to ever think for yourself? YOU should choose if you want your bread sliced and then how thick you want it sliced. It shouldn’t be predetermined for you.

Hell, Kroger has their own brand of bread and they give you an odd number of slices. That doesn’t make for good sandwich making when you get to the end of the loaf and you only have one slice left. Sounds to me like they didn’t slice it perfect enough. That might not happen if you were allowed to slice your own.

16 responses to “Daily Prompt: Sliced Bread

  1. Yeah! Fight the power! Fuck the man! That didn’t sound right at all!

  2. Your first sentence says it all.

  3. This was funny, and so darn true. I prefer getting unsliced bread, too. 🙂

  4. I don’t eat bread only bc I dont like the taste, not bc of the carb thing. If I did though, it definitely would be unsliced.

    That exchange between you and TD was just Ummm…yeah.

  5. Pingback: Daily Prompt: Sliced Bread | Fasting, Food and other musings by determined34

  6. I’m a fan of unsliced bread, because it’s my dream to one day construct a real-life Scooby Doo sandwich.

    I would posit that the greatest invention since sliced bread, though, is internet porn. Nothing has been so mutually beneficial and detrimental to mankind since the atomic bomb.

  7. Pingback: Dumbest Freeway Exit Ever? | Stuphblog

  8. Pingback: Why Sliced Bread? | Keyboard Pizza

  9. Pingback: Daily Prompt: Sliced Bread. | Everyday Adventures

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s