Today’s DP (double penetration? Yeaaaah) is Childhood Revisited. I wasn’t going to do this one at all and now at the dawning of a new day decided to go ahead. Here’s what it’s about.
What is your earliest memory? Describe it in detail, and tell us why you think that experience was the one to stick with you.
Well that’s easy, it was the day I was conceived. I remember it like it was 33 years and 22 days, plus about 9 months ago.
I was in the break room drinking a cup of coffee infused with Jim Beam with the guys. We were all chatting and laughing about the good ol’ days. And then the siren went off and we all dropped our cups, making quite a mess. The light flashed red while the siren blasted our ear drums. We knew it was time. That moment that we had been training for.
We all ran to our bunks and jumped into our flight suits. Throwing our goggles on, we ran out of the bunk house and into the main yard with the others. I was just one of millions, and we were prepared to carry out our mission one way or the other.
Our Sargent yelled at us, as he always did. He was a funny guy. He told us conditions were going to be hot, wet and rough. We could only imagine during our training, we had yet to experience it ourselves, and what a cruel fate reality can bring.
After the Sarge was done yelling at us and telling us what we’ve heard a million times over, we all ran to the launch pad and prepared for our trip. This was another first for us. We had never been on the launch pad, and it was to bring us closer to what we were going to experience. To get us ready.
We looked up at the main hatch, where we were all going to depart on our mission as soon as the time was right. It felt like an eternity, but we could feel the heat of the outside world coming down on us. We knew our moment was drawing near.
Finally, the hatch burst open and the immense suction pulled us all up and out into the world. We flew as fast as we could up the long and muscular tube, zipping around and enjoying for the first time, real flight.
Up ahead we saw the exit of the tube and we prepared finally, for battle. We shot out of the tube at the speed of light and we were suddenly in another world, the one we had been preparing for. It was, as the Sarge said (who knew he’d be right?) hot, wet and rough going.
We made our way through the cavern zipping around in our flight suits, our hearts beating with the utmost anticipation. Suddenly, we encountered the first of our challenges. A bunch of ninjas came out of the darkness ahead and attacked!
Pulling our light sabers from our travel packs, we lit them up, millions of them lighting the cavern with a beautiful green glow. The ninjas were quick and deadly, as they destroyed hundreds of thousands of our men. It was a gruesome fate for my brothers in arms.
A ninja found me and swung at me with a fast-flying chop. I ducked it and delivered a nasty whip across his face with the long tail at the end of my flight suit. He flew sideways and almost hit one of my comrades, but came back at me with a nasty round house kick which caught me square in the jaw.
Recovering, I dove at him and missed with a clothesline, but spun around quickly with my light saber and cut him in two. As his body pieces floated away, I turned to see that more of my brothers were having the same luck, while even more perished.
After what seemed to be an eternity, we finally destroyed all of the ninjas and we continued on our way until we ran into hundreds of ships full of pirates!
They shot their cannons at us which exploded upon impact. Each explosion caught some of our men off guard and killed them instantly. The rest of us forged ahead, dodging bullet fire and cannon ball blasts. We cut our way through their ships sides with our sabers and entered their ships from the bottom. Their swordsman skills were sufficient in killing many of our men, but we did overcome them as well and we made our way further into the cavern.
Just then there was a roar and we looked around to see our final challenge. A nasty herd of dinosaurs!
They came at us from every angle, and while we were many, they were quick and strong, with a ravenous appetite. And they were so big! They ate a lot of our men, leaving just a small handful of us left, but we did survive in killing the beasts. We continued forward.
Finally we came to our destination. It was magical, it was wonderful, it was also too good to be true. Sargent told us not to get caught up in its beauty, for it is the main boss, the enemy, the head honcho, and we need to take it out!
The rest of us, about a thousand or so, charged the giant ball. Suddenly a bunch of fighter jets flew out of the ball and began to shoot lasers at us! Our men flew around shooting back at them with their plasma guns, but there were just too many! I lost many great friends that day, but I was bound and determined to finish the job.
I flew ahead, while the battle raged on all around me. I flew along the surface of the ball trying to find what the Sarge said was the “killing point.” Suddenly I had two of the fighter jets behind me trailing me! They were so fast!
I dodged several of their shots but they were gaining on me fast. I had very little time to make my move, if only I could find…
There it was! The killing point! It was just a small hole on the side of the giant ball and it was opening and closing! This was going to be tough.
Behind me, one of the fighter jets was destroyed in a fiery ball of fire, by what I don’t know. The other came in closer and shot at me. I dodged the blast and headed for the killing point. This was it, now or never, one chance only…
I made it! I flew into the entry point just as it was closing again and I found myself out of breath but in the enemy’s lair. It was there that I learned I had succeeded in my journey, and they celebrated with a party for me, since I had broken into their lair and was brave enough to overcome the journey. I was awarded with a medal for my bravery and we drank more coffee with Jim Beam in it.
I passed out that night, and the next day I felt completely different. I learned of my fate and what I was to become. I didn’t like it, but I was proud of my efforts, so I went along with it anyway. I was served a plethora of virgins and beer. That was the best time of my life.