The Bed Bugs And The Roaches

When I was a kid my dad would often rattle off this poem that always cracked me up. For some reason it’s been on my mind lately, so I thought I’d share.

I woke up one morning I looked up on the wall
The bedbugs and the roaches were playing a game of ball
The score was nine to nothing, the bed bugs were ahead
The roaches hit a home run which knocked me out of bed
I went downstairs to eat my breakfast the biscuits were hard and stale
The coffee tasted like tobacco juice out of the Butler County Jail
Rubber jointed beef steak, disconnected cheese
The toast flopped out of the toaster and landed in the peas
Match in the gas tank, boom boom!

I’m not sure if there’s more to it or not, if so I never heard it and I’ve never even bothered to search it online. I came up with more on my own a few years ago but I can’t find it anywhere now. Anyway, there it is. Now go sing it to your kids.

EDIT: I just looked it up online and apparently there are millions of variations of it. That’s as much searching as I’m going to do.

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