Movie Review: Black Swan

My wife and I just recently watched Black Swan. If you’ve never seen it, but have heard about it from others who have seen it, you’ve probably heard two things said about it. It’s good and it’s weird.

Those two definitions of the movie aren’t far from the truth. It’s actually really good, but damn is it weird.

Natalie Portman is a ballerina who is trying out for the lead in Swan Lake. Mila Kunis is a ballerina who is also in Swan Lake. Vincent Cassel is a dude who directs Swan Lake and is a perv.

Natalie Portman’s mom is a psycho bitch who wants nothing more than for her daughter to be the very best. The mom was once also a ballerina. Everybody in the movie was or is a ballerina.

Natalie Portman goes crazy in the membrane while she’s dealing with being on top, because she gets the part. But that isn’t enough, and she continues to only get worse as the movie goes on.

If you’re a guy reading this and thinking how in the hell I could watch this movie and say it was good when it was all about a ton of ballerinas, just watch it. You’ll enjoy it, probably. It is actually very good.

The insanity inside Portman’s head is fucked up on every level. Mix in a little psycho-mom, a lesbian sex scene between Portman and Kunis, Portman finger-banging herself several times, drug use, a ton of explosions, thousands of deaths and Optimus Prime saving the day, you have yourself one awesome flick.

Optimus Prime makes even Ballet awesome.

This movie, however, is along the lines of Pink Floyd’s The Wall. Watching it while fucked up will only benefit you, so try and do that if you can. Drink a couple, smoke a couple, whatever your flavor may be, just indulge yourself first and then sit back and watch a pretty damn good movie. Never mind that it’s about ballet, the rest of the movie is just strange enough to pass this off as a decent flick.

I give this movie 7 of 10 stars because the lesbian sex scene is pretty awesome.

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