Who The Fuck Is Cee Lo Green Anyway?

Much like Seth Rogan, Cee Lo Green popped up out of nowhere and now he’s everywhere. Also like Seth Rogan, it makes me wonder why.

Don’t get me wrong, I can stand Seth Rogan in small amounts, considering he’s played the same role in every movie he’s been in. I don’t mind it here and there, but I do mind it everywhere.

That’s where Seth stands apart from Cee Lo. I really can’t stand Cee Lo at all. The most fucked up thing about that is, I have no fucking idea who Cee Lo is, and I still can’t stand him at all.

I first heard of Cee Lo, seriously, during a commercial he did for 7Up.

After that commercial I seriously thought “why did 7Up hire this shitty singer guy to do their commercial? Who the fuck is he anyway?” And much like the question I asked about Vanessa Carlton a few years ago (who the fuck is Vanessa Carlton anyway?) I got no good answer, except “he’s a singer”. I kinda figured.

So I’m watching TV and suddenly, there he is again on a commercial for a singing show called The Voice. I find out he’s one of the judges who decides who can sing and who can’t. Alongside him is Christina Aguilara. Together, they judge people on their singing skills. Those two. Those two individuals, Cee Lo Green and Christina Aguilara tell people, in some instances, that they cannot sing. That would be like Seth Rogan telling someone they can’t act.

So then I think I’ve had enough of Cee Lo when all of a sudden, there he fucking is again. I turn on my Xbox 360, connect to Xbox live, and there he fucking is. He’s part of an advertisement for some new feature for Xbox Live.

Jesus holy assed Christ, do I need any more Cee Lo in my fucking life? I declare that I do not.

I ask my wife if he’s done anything to be famous and she told me about his hit song “Fuck You”. Instantly, I find a love for him. I hit up Youtube to listen to this song and while the concept is pretty funny, his singing sucks and I don’t think kids should be in a video with one of them (his younger version) singing along to a song that says the word “fuck” all throughout.

Not to mention he’s now a judge on a prime time family show. And for this show, I did see that commercial, where he’s saying how The Voice will be on directly after the Super Bowl. He says “the whole world will be watching!”

Yes, the whole world will be watching the Super Bowl. After that’s over, they’ll all be going home from the Super Bowl watching party they were at and they’ll be getting pulled over and given a DUI for intoxicated driving and they’ll be missing your shitty singing show.

24 responses to “Who The Fuck Is Cee Lo Green Anyway?

  1. I can honestly say that I have no fucking clue who this dude is.

  2. I figured I wasn’t the only one.

  3. I can’t stand him either, who the hell buys his crap? He is truly horrible. My wife tells me I sound like my dad. He hated the Rolling Stones but he loved the Sex Pistols (not the music but their attitude) I actually know people that love him!! how in God’s name can this be? Fuck You Cee Lo? No FUCK YOU.

  4. Hahaha, nice.

  5. I agree, I first heard about him on that talent show and then all of a sudden he’s everywhere! I still don’t know who the fuck he is and I don’t care. I call him jabba the hutt, I swear he’s a dead ringer! I guess I’m old or I’m just not into hip hop music

  6. Jabba haha, my wife says he looks like a turtle. Maybe the fifth ninja turtle?

  7. No talent. Not a singer. And CREEPY as all hell, with his white pussy and his bizarre wardrobe. Just imagine your daughter bringing him home to meet the family! “I’m engaged to Cee Lo, Dad,” she says. I’d ground her for five years. He appears to be able to walk about 10 feet, but he sure can’t dance, unless aimless foot-shuffling is now called ‘dancing.’ Only one thing to his credit: On the Voice he has never said, ‘You made the song your own.’ The other judges say that 15 times per show.

  8. Dharten@aol.com

    Holy S. . . , this pill bug is gross. Guess the sewer houses a variety of untalented vermin

  9. Amen brother this guy sucks! If he is a judge of singing or any musical talent then I’m the pope!
    I would love to see him tell someone they can’t sing, and the contestant tell him “who the fuck are you to judge anybody’s singing cause you can’t sing” he’s not qualified to judge a dog howling contest!
    The voice can’t get real judges those people have successful careers, and don’t need some half ass singing competition to validate that they are legitimate artists,
    And to salvage a fading career, that goes for all Adam, Christina, Blake, and especially Ce Lo who had no career or talent to begin with!!!

  10. Aw thank goodness I found your blog. Thought I was the only one thinking what the fuck with this fuckwit. Ceelo fucking who? He can’t sing and he’s creepy to boot. Blake Shelton is an arrogant ass. Christina’s face is frozen with botox and as stiff as her singing… and Adam Levine is possibly the only one with real musical understanding. I’d like to produce a singing show that’s judged by real singers and doesn’t require singers to scream every song with a zillion runs and mellismas.

    • Yeah, Ceelo sucks. The problem with music today is, everyone who matters in it wants the same thing over and over. Record labels want everyone to sound the same. And now this generation of music lovers expects that, so they have no taste either. Radio stations play that crap because they have to. So we get music shows where nobody has any real talent. Every singing show on TV now is an outlandish karaoke show. I’d like to see your singing show, or better yet, a show where people have to actually write hit songs to be considered an idol. Now they just have to sing everybody else’s songs pretty. It’s disgusting. The winners of American Idol show who has the real talent after they have record deals and sell albums. Where’s Rubin now? Great voice, can’t write songs for shit. The music industry as a whole, sucks ass. Thanks for stopping by, don’t be a stranger!

      • That is so true in a nut shell all music now a days suck! First damn problem is Rap Crap! This Shit should not even be considered music, just people making making stupid ass rhymes to a recorded beat talk about no talent!
        And then country music is nothing but rock music with some dime a dozen hick they dug up somewhere who has a twang to his voice and label it country!
        And if I got to see and here one more boy band like No direction! Or one more little punk ass queer like justin bieber I’m gonna throw up!
        I’m sick and tired of all this fabricated Bull Shit! What ever happened to real artists? Like Eric Clapton, the Eagles, Pink Floyd, Aerosmith, Led Zeppelin, the Who, Jimmy Hendrix, Rolling Stones, Moody Blues, the Beatles, Rolling Stones, and many more.
        All the so called artists of today are a joke and do not deserve to even be called a artist!
        I agree let’s have a talent show where the person has to write and perform original material. Then let the public be the judge, not some retard no talet dumb ass like Cee Lo!

      • You’re speaking my language, 100%. Wanna hear something that proves music back in the day is still better than anything out now? I just read on an article over at Cracked that Nickelback “went on to become one of the best-selling rock bands and the second best-selling foreign act (they’re from Canada) of the last decade. In case you’re wondering about the latter of those two stats (that means the second!), the only band that outsold them was the Beatles.” So today’s best selling “music” is only second best to an artist who was around what, 40, 50 years ago? Huh. I’m not surprised.

  11. I remember when New Kids on the block came out, they went from 1984 to 1994 i remember hearing on E/T that in a couple years they would be more well known and popular than the Beatles were in there day!
    My daughter was born in1993 when she was about 13 or 14 I mentioned some 80s boy bands 98 degrees marky mark and new kids on the block! And she said “WHO?”
    So here’s a teenage girl who’s never heard of these people but she knew who the Beatles were knew all the members and a lot of there songs!
    40 damn years after the fact! And didn’t know who new kids were or any of there songs! Only 10 years after they were gone! So it proves to me all this new shit music is here today gone tomorrow that brings me back to a real nothing like Cee Lo who has even less talent NO! I mean NO talent, even compared to nobody’s like new kids!
    Tomorrow is not coming soon enough for that looser to be gone!

    • Absolutely, however with the way music is nowadays, he’ll be gone tomorrow, replaced by 2 more nobodies. I remember hearing back in the day that Def Leppard was going to be bigger than Led Zeppelin. To their credit, they’re still mostly known now I guess, but nowhere near Zeppelin’s status. Good for your daughter, sounds like she knows good music. Must come from you.

      • I agree as long as they keep these shows like American idol, X factor and the Voice around we will keep getting future and present nobodies,
        These shows are production factories for these people here today gone tomorrow, this is cheap TV to produce and unfortunately enough people like this fake shit to give the networks enough ratings and reasons to put it on another season!
        What happened to good music shows like Don Kirshners rock concert, midnight special, hell even AB and soul train were better than this crap!

      • Yup. Midnight Special should still be around, but something tells me it would probably suck now too. Soul Train was amazing. The problem is, those were back when bands and artists played their own instruments. John Fogerty was once on Soul Train and he dominated it. Real music fans love good real music, it’s that simple. But the simple minds of today can’t handle shit like that. Hell, most country “stars” who sing and play an acoustic while singing aren’t really even playing. If someone took their guitar away from them while they were playing it, you wouldn’t hear a difference in the music. One of the reasons I can’t stand country music now. It’s all just crap. I’m glad there’s still people like you around. It keeps the good music alive.

      • My daughter watches the voice I don’t!
        Last night I happened to be in the room Cee Lo was on stage supposedly performing he came on stage in this fucking black and white striped outfit with red shoes, he looked like a bad version of the Michelin tire man he looked utterly fucking ridiculous I just wish I was on that stage for five seconds to Bitch Slap that Fat Bastard!!
        Not to mention his singing was a kin to scratching your fingers on a chalk board, in fact that would Have sounded like a symphony compared to that ignorant fucker!!!!

      • The Michelin man lol. Awesome. With what you described, I got a mental image of Beetlejuice and Ronald McDonald’s kid.

  12. He is one of many monkeys currently trained by the Jews in Hollywood to distract people while the government Jews fuck people.
    The mainstream consumers are too ducking retarded to differentiate between music and monkeys cursing
    And no , the whole world doesn’t watch the super bowl. Just fat lazy Americans. “Football” is an American invention that is neither a ball nor played with feet

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