Bathroom Jokes

Actually, these aren’t jokes, they are true bathroom stories. Prepare yourself. I’m ending this year with a bang.

About two years ago I worked for a company that I won’t name, with Twindaddy. In this particular building the company had two offices, caddy-corner to one another. The building’s layout was like a giant empty square, the center being the back loading area for all of the businesses. Sometimes if I felt like visiting a nice bathroom, I’d walk across the back lot to the other office and use their bathroom because it was almost always empty of other users and it was very nice.

Most of the time though, I’d use the bathroom in my office, and it was while in there that I witnessed some funny incidents.

For starters, the pressure in the water lines for the men and womens bathrooms, which of course were side by side, wasn’t the best. While sitting on the toilet doing my number two, if a woman flushed a toilet in their bathroom, the water under my ass would gurgle and bubble up, sometimes splashing me on my ass. That sucked, especially if I had already started dropping my load.

Another time while dropping the kids off at the pool, I heard a guy go to one of the urinals and start to do his thing. While pissing, he farted and the fart was so explosive it fucked up his pissing, which I could clearly hear as it splashed off of the back side of the urinal. I had to hold my laughing in as I pictured him losing complete control of his junk and piss spraying everywhere. All over a fart.

The best story though, took place on another day, again while I was shitting. Another man came in to shit and entered his stall. After getting situated, I heard his first dropping happen, a plop and splash, and he whispered loudly, “oh yeah”. That time I couldn’t contain myself and started laughing out loud. I’m sure his face turned red, but I never found out who it was or I would have given him “shit” about it.

Me and some of the other guys had a good laugh at these incidents.

Happy new year everyone.

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