If It Ain’t Broke

Why do businesses constantly feel the need to change things when they’re working just fine the way they are? What’s worse is, when these companies add shit to their current shit before fixing the shit that was wrong before the new shit came out. I hate that shit.

For my first witness, I call Gmail to the stage. Google just recently decided to update their Gmail service by changing the look of it. Now, the service (at least for me) runs worse than it did before, and before it ran just fine. Now, it’s slow and awkward, like Muhammad Ali trying to break dance.

Things used to be great, I knew where everything was, I could login, do my thing and logout. Now, I have to search and hunt for shit, and I’m not even sure if I have new emails because they look almost exactly the same as the already read emails.

Read emails used to show up with a blue background, a much different color than the white background of the unread emails. Now, the unread still have that white background, but the read emails have a light gray background, looking damn near the exact same as the unread.

As for the shit they didn’t fix before putting out new shit? I have multiple accounts to keep my shit in order. Only a couple of them get a ton of emails while the rest are rarely used and have very few emails. The bigger accounts load up just fine, while the smaller accounts won’t load at all unless I switch them to the basic HTML versions.

That doesn’t make any sense. Wouldn’t you think the more stuff you have the longer it would take to load? Instead, Gmail is the opposite. And if I click on the link that asks the question for me, “why am I looking at the HTML shit instead of the regular shit”, it says it’s because I’M on a slow network. If I’m on a slow network, why do my big accounts with thousands of emails load up just fine?

Of course Google won’t fix this because that would be easy. Instead, they make a whole new design that sucks ass and they force everybody to use it. The good news is, the basic HTML view is still the old view, so at least with those accounts I don’t have to see the new shitty look.

My next culprit is Facebook. Their site has been doing nothing but go downhill for the last year. I used to be on Myspace until it started sucking balls, then I left. The reason? They started changing everything from the way it was, the way everybody knew it to be, the way everybody was comfortable with, and they added a whole bunch of shit to it that nobody needed. That’s why Myspace is the smallest social networking site out there now when it used to be the biggest.

Facebook is quickly heading that way. I’m not sure who the new one will be to take its place, maybe Google + although I doubt it, maybe Tumblr, who knows. But what I do know is, Facebook better fix some shit fast or they’re going to be at the bottom of the heap with only Myspace as a cushion to lay on.

They’ve added a ton of crap to the right side of the page that I don’t need, yet I have to see it. One day I stumbled upon a little button and I clicked it and the whole right side of bullshit went away. For the first time in a long time, Facebook looked like the site I joined over a year ago, hell, maybe two years ago.

Then, I made the mistake of logging out and going back at another time. The right sidebar full of shit was back and that little button was gone.

If I move my mouse accidentally over somebody’s profile picture or their name, I get a small Java script-like popup that shows me nothing I need to know, which is basically their profile picture only bigger, their name, and where they went to school or where they work, and how many mutual friends we have.

I know where to hunt that shit down, I don’t need to see it a million times while I’m trying to do other shit.

The next problem I had with them was, one day recently I logged in only to get a message from Facebook telling me that I’m not allowed to send friend requests to people I do not know, and if I continue to do that I will have my friend request privileges taken away from me.

First, for the last six months I have only sent out two friend requests to a married couple that are related to my wife. The one accepted me, the other still hasn’t because he’s never online. And two, since when does Facebook give a shit about that? Isn’t it their way to try to get you to befriend every fucking person on earth?

One day, while extremely bored, I began clicking the little x buttons to get rid of the people I may know but don’t give a fuck enough about them to be friends with them and I was sick of seeing them. So I clicked the shit out of the x’s to get rid of them all. Once Facebook ran out of suggestions for me based off of mutual friends, they started throwing up random people, from all over the US, for me to friend. I knew none of them and none of us had any mutual friends. Wouldn’t those be people I don’t know?

And for the shit that doesn’t work? I am constantly inundated with this message, “Unable to process request. Try again later.” Or something to that effect. I get it when I try to post a status update or respond to somebody else’s update. I have to refresh the page and then type my comment again. And only sometimes that works.

It’s getting so bad, like just the other day, that I can’t do anything at all when I’m online. I see other people doing shit, but I can’t. I just have to logout and come back several hours later and hope everything is okay.

So what’s the worst part about all of this? Both companies, gigantic in size, absolutely refuse to talk to those who made them that big, their customers. Try to find contact info to somebody, SOMEBODY, a person, who you can talk to and share your issues with. You can’t, because they don’t exist.

Navigating both of their help menus or their feedback areas is insane and both will run you in circles. They do that shit so that you get fed up with it all and give up, eventually not even sending feedback. They like it that way, it gives them less to have to worry about.

So why do I still use both services? I’m an idiot, I guess. I have nowhere better to go than Facebook, and Yahoo still owes me money or I’d do my email through them again.

Just once, I’d like to hear from somebody who represents one of these companies so I can find out what the fuck is really going on. Just once. That’s all I ask, is it really that much?

3 responses to “If It Ain’t Broke

  1. Yahoo owes you money? Do tell…

  2. Years ago I had joined their dating website, Yahoo Personals or whatever the fuck it’s called. It was like $40 a month or some such shit. I only used it for a month. I stopped using it and had canceled my membership, but they continued to charge me for two more months. I sent them all kinds of emails bitching about it and they said that I should have called to cancel instead of doing it online. There’s no number I could find anywhere to call Yahoo in any department. I told them to check the site out and they’d see I hadn’t used it since that first month. They didn’t care. So I say fuck Yahoo and all they stand for. They owe me $80 and they always will, cause you know, that would put them out of business if they gave me my money back…

  3. I didn’t know that had pay services…

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