CBS Sucks

Typically, I don’t watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade because I really hate parades. Not for any reason in particular, I just don’t care for them. I watched once when I was a kid and was bored with it, so I haven’t watched since.

This year, though, I decided to check it out, since I was up super early Thanksgiving morning and there was nothing else on TV.

I’m not sure why I tuned in to CBS to get the coverage since they’re not even an official coverage supplier of the parade, but I hate NBC completely and they are the official coverage network.

As I’m watching, I realized something. The coverage sucked. CBS, in their all knowing wisdom, decided it would be best to cover the parade by not showing the parade. Instead, they focused most of their attention on the two hosts. I’d name them, but I have no fucking clue who either one was, one a black guy and the other a white chick. They both sucked and they had horrible chemistry together.

It’s a good thing they were horrible and had bad chemistry, because they were on the ENTIRE FUCKING TIME. I did catch a glimpse of the parade behind them as things went by, and occasionally they’d acknowledge what was going on. Sometimes they’d go down to this other chick who was “standing by” on the parade route to get her thoughts on the parade, and even then they barely showed the parade.

The amazing thing about these dumbass fucks was, they kept on babbling about what we were going to see and how great the parade was and all of the upcoming things happening, but they NEVER SHOWED ANY OF IT. A few times they did go to other locations to show performances by several of the Broadway shows putting on a routine from their shows, but none of them had anything to do with the parade and during all of them the parade couldn’t even be seen in the background.

Now, the only reason I kept watching was, they promised a live performance from John Fogerty, and since he’s a God of Rock, I decided to keep watching until I got to see him, and then I’d turn it or just shut off the TV.

While waiting for that, the two douche hosts had a bunch of celebrities join them to talk about what the parade means to them and their favorite memories of the parade and blah blah fucking blah. You know, all of that instead of actually showing the fucking parade.

Most of the guests were cool though. Mayor Bloomberg stopped by (who gives a shit), Hunter Parrish (Weeds) who was kind of cool, and the best of them all was Steve Guttenberg (Police Academy) who I thought was dead or at the very least out of the entertainment business altogether. Turns out I was wrong, and that made me happy, because he rocks.

The last guest, and real reason I’m writing this blog, was a celebrity chef, which means they’re dumbasses who get paid too much to show us how to make shit we’re never going to make. He was showing everybody how to make a tasty “gourmet” dish out of your Thanksgiving leftovers. I’m not going to give details of the dish here, but as he was making the dish he added, “make sure to make it look pretty, because as I always say, we eat with our eyes.”

No, dipshit, we eat with our fucking mouths. Not once have I ever put food in my eye. Well maybe a few times when I was a baby, but I had that shit everywhere, not just in my eye.

We eat with our eyes, give me a fucking break. I don’t give a fuck what the food looks like as long as, guess what, it TASTES good. And there’s only one way to determine that… by putting it INTO YOUR MOUTH. Does the food smell good? Then chances are very likely that the food will taste good. I’ve eaten some horrible shit that looked good, but when it came down to it, it didn’t taste good. And in the end, that’s what matters, right? If it doesn’t taste good, then you won’t eat it.

So if it looks good, that means nothing on how it tastes. If it smells good, there’s a good chance that it will taste good.

Do you know how many people I know that won’t eat guacamole because of how it looks? A lot. As a matter of fact, everybody I’ve ever met who won’t eat or even try guacamole has chosen not to because of HOW IT LOOKS. Even I was skeptical years ago when I first tried it, because of HOW IT LOOKED. But I tried it and now I can’t get enough of the stuff. It’s delicious and it looks like baby vomit. I guess that blows a hole in your logic, high-paid-gourmet-chef.

This douchebag, who’s name is something like Marcel Corci or something, gets paid, probably a whole lot of money, to say stupid shit like “we eat with our eyes” and I’m unemployed. Do we fuck with our ears, too asshole? And no, that wasn’t a Family Guy reference.

I can’t figure that shit out. How the fuck do we eat with our eyes? I’ve heard Gordon Ramsay say many times that presentation is everything, but that’s presentation. I can’t recall ever hearing him say that the dishes should look good because people want to eat it with their eyes. You know why he’s never said that? Because it’s fucking stupid.

Then I got to see John Fogerty dominate and I turned it off. Fuck CBS for ruining Thanksgiving for me. Which they really didn’t because I couldn’t care less about the fucking parade, but at least this year I attempted to give it a try and CBS blew it.

Want to know how bad they blew it? I already read that twindaddy over at the Stuph Blog hated it. I also didn’t have to do much searching around to find these gems.

I am compelled to send a message saying how disappointed I am in your coverage of the Thanksgiving parade this year. The coverage primarily consists of commercials and covering your hosts at their desk and their conversations, I have seen very little of the actual parade. Unfortunately, I have changed to NBC for the remainder of the parade as they are covering the parade with the host’s commentary in the background. I have been able to view bands and performances and while watching CBS I saw none of that.

Please take the cameras off your hosts and their guests and film the parade, that’s what the viewers are tuning in to watch. For me, I’ll be sticking with NBC for the remainder of my viewing! Source.

I was so looking forward to watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade and I am so disappointed with the commentators and and what they ‘thought’ was important to comment on, instead of introducing the Marching Bands that came from great distances and practiced for hours to perfect their performance, the ‘beautiful floats’ that we saw very little of after the painsaking hours that it took to create them. We got an eyeful of their favorite highflying balloons, but I was sick of hearing them talk and talk about nothing of importance to us, the viewers, who wanted to see the floats and the marching bands, hear the performers on the floats and enjoy the balloon of our favorite past years great Macy’s parades. I rarely watch CBS, and I probably won’t again after this fiasco… Source, including 86 more comments from people who hated CBS’s bullshit…

I read through a few of the comments where that last one came from and they were all the same. CBS sucks and the viewers let them know about it. Do you think this will change anything for next year’s parade? I doubt it, but I’ll watch next year on CBS to see if they learned anything.

I’m taking wagers now. Do you think they’ll listen to the people, learn the error of their ways and fix it for next year’s broadcast, or do you think they’ll say “fuck the people” and continue ruining everything? Comment and let me know.

3 responses to “CBS Sucks

  1. While I’m not a parade person, they truly did not show much of the parade. Those two idiots spent most of the time making horrible, horrible jokes and laughing (canned laughter) at them.

    Then they would have “celebrities” on to interview them, only one of which I recognized, and that was Steve Guttenberg. Man, he looks horrible now. I wonder what hole they found him in? Where’s HE been since 1989?

    Anyhow, I’ll have to find something else to do next year when my wife turns on the parade because I will not suffer through that cruel and unusual presentation of the parade again.

    Fuck that.

  2. CBS needs to fire a few people. This was a travesty. Super models, cooking tips, football and silly hosts. And they even spoiled Christmas for all the kids who believe in the elf.

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