Editorial Archives: She Gave Me Those “Rape Me Eyes”

Ah yes, one of my favorites.

Editorial Archives TOS

She Gave Me Those “Rape Me Eyes”
January 3, 2008

I pulled into a gas station to purchase some cigarettes so I could hand them out to children, and as I was pulling up I noticed a fairly attractive woman getting out of her car and heading to the gas station attendant. I noticed her because she parked right next to the attendant’s station and after she shut her door she looked my way and then her rear lights flashed, meaning she set her car alarm.

None of this may sound odd to you, but it really is, considering the attendant’s station is just that; a station. It’s not an actual gas station store where you can walk inside and purchase things. You walk up to a window and you make your transaction through a door that slides back and forth. The gas station attendant has to speak to you via microphone. Where this woman parked, she was literally 4 foot steps away from her driver side door.

The first odd step in this process is, the woman turned her car off. It was roughly 12 degrees when this all took place. There’s no need to turn the car and the heat off in this situation. Especially if she’s not getting gas, which as it turned out she wasn’t. She was simply there to buy something from the attendant and leave.

The second odd step was she set her car alarm. I guess she wanted to be warned if someone tried to break into her car, because she wouldn’t have been able to see it happening a whole 5 feet away.

Now for the third odd step. I pulled up to the other side of the attendant’s station and parked my car. I didn’t turn it off because I’m not an idiot. As I pulled up I noticed the woman glancing my way again. I got out of the car and walked up to the window, behind the lady. She gave me two more odd glances, did her business, and got back in the car, giving me yet another odd glance. Even as she was done with her business and turned to head back to her car she dropped some change on the ground and didn’t even bother to pick it up, showing she was in a hurry to get away from me.

The first glance was strange, because as I pulled up she couldn’t see me from where she was. Every other glare made sense because I’m an odd looking man, especially in the morning when this took place, and I probably fit the description of someone who would rape a woman, or at the very least kill her.

I could only come up with two conclusions. She’s either afraid of this neighborhood, or she’s not a morning person. If she’s that afraid of this neighborhood she shouldn’t come through it anymore, and if she’s not a morning person she should sleep in. Problem solved.

The interesting thing about this entire series of events made me think, though, of something that I know about and maybe you don’t. With that in mind, I’m now here to give you a little advice so that maybe if you’re ever in a similar situation, you’ll know how to handle it.

How To Tell If A Woman Wants You To Rape Her

“WOAH!” you’re probably saying right now. I know, that sounds a little strange and probably a little off of the deep end. That’s why I’m here… to help you understand the difference between when a woman wants you to rape her and when she doesn’t.

Ever since the dawn of man, women have loved to be “hit” on. And by “hit” I mean “hit”. Cave men used to club the women they wanted on the head and then they would drag them back to their caves by their hair and have their way with them. This is a documented fact.

Since then we’ve accepted the term “hitting on” to describe what men or women do to the opposite, and sometimes same sex when they’re interested in fucking them. Breaking that down it doesn’t make much sense. We’re not physically hitting them, but that is what it’s called.

And now in this modern day and age, even though women want to be treated as equals amongst men, they still like for the man to take charge in certain situations. This woman at the gas station wasn’t going to tell me she wanted to fuck me, she just wanted me to fuck her. So, she gave me the “rape me eyes”.

If I was to club her on the head, drag her back to my house and then have my way with her, it would have been acceptable. And in this situation it would’ve also been acceptable to dump her body in a field afterwards. When she woke up she would’ve realized what happened and she would’ve felt great knowing that her “rape me eyes” worked.

So when is it not a good idea to rape a woman? Well obviously when she’s not giving you the “rape me eyes”. I knew she was giving me those eyes because she was in the mood, and I knew she was in the mood because there was a small cloud of steam coming up from her crotch. It was easily detected due to the extreme cold. This steam obviously meant she was hot in the hole and she wanted some great Beefy Lovin’. Then again it could’ve just been a silent fart, but who am I to say otherwise?

Personally I would have to strongly oppose actually raping a woman unless she flat out asks you to. It’s always better to be safe than sorry, and besides, women need to learn to speak what’s on their mind instead of always hinting around things.

So don’t ever rape a woman. Again, unless she asks you to verbally. “Please rape me” is what she should say. Don’t let her eyes do the talking for her. If she has a look on her face like she expects you to do bad things to her, she probably wants you to, otherwise she wouldn’t be looking at you that way. That would just be rude as hell if she was giving you those eyes and she didn’t want it, you know? Because then she would be implying that she thinks you are going to rape her and she doesn’t even know you and she’s making it obvious by giving you evil glares.

Fucking bitch.

So guys, the next time you see a woman giving you those sexy “rape me eyes” that we all love, just to be safe walk up and ask her “Excuse me, but would you like me to rape you?” After that it’s all gravy. Her answer will determin if you get any or not. And that my friends, you do not need a heads up on. You’ll know.

I hate women that give dirty looks when they don’t even know you.

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