Our Planet… The Final Frontier

Recently there has been a lot of talk in the world of space… world of space… world of space… that’s a fucked up comment… anyway, some interesting things have been discovered or thought up.

First, there has been the discovery of a new moon hovering around planet turned nothing more than a big rock, Pluto. I figure since Pluto is now nothing more than a big rock, finding a moon hovering around it isn’t such big news. I mean, Pluto IS in a giant sea of asteroids and big rocks. The fact that one of them would eventually slip into Pluto’s gravitational pull isn’t very hard to fathom. But still, it’s awesome that we’re using NASA’s giant lack of a budget to discover shit that means nothing to us.

Second, Scientists have discovered, or are theorizing on the idea that maybe, just maybe, the Earth had two moons. Not really two moons, rather, our moon had a moon. So is that moon squared? They’re saying that our moon had a little satellite moon hovering around it, and one day the two smashed into each other in a low speed collision turning the two into the one we know now. Awesome, yet not important.

Third, there seems to have been traces of water, rather, salt water, on Mars. Now there’s all kinds of debate amongst people who have all of the thought processes going but none of the credentials of someone who should be listened to discussing whether or not water would be possible on Mars.

The best part of this is, we have pictures! Pictures that indicate water flow, although to me they look like wind blowing over a dusty ground. But what do I know? I don’t have credentials either. Okay, so I lied, the best part isn’t that, it’s this. We’re planning to send astronauts to Mars by 2030. Never mind that we haven’t even had anybody step foot on the moon yet, I seriously doubt we’ll ACTUALLY put a man on the surface of Mars, even though I’m sure NASA will say that we did. Then they can show us pictures of the astronauts on the surface of Mars that were taken and developed in some hangar done up to look like Mars. Even better, one of the astronauts should be eating a Mars candy bar while hopping around on the surface.

Could we populate Mars? No. Typically the weather there sucks ass. Like, it’s cold all the time. Except when it’s hot, then it’s hot all the time. But, there’s no wind, except when there’s wind, and there’s no water (so far, there might be) considering there’s ice all over the planet. Ice doesn’t mean water folks, it means ice. You can’t swim in ice. You can’t drink ice. You can’t shower in ice.

I’m all for the exploration of outer space. I love it. We’re little tiny nothings in this galaxy, never mind the rest of outer space, we’re really little nothings. Yet we walk around here with our heads held high and our chests stuck out and our ego’s running at high capacity, like we’re the shit, the cock of the walk. Well, we’re cocks alright.

Mankind sucks. We’re trying to discover intelligent life, or any kind of life, on other planets, just in our own solar system. We’re trying to make discoveries of life ANYWHERE out in space and we’re trying to discover all of the weird shit that outer space has to offer. Almost all of it is fascinating, except for the bullshit discoveries I just talked about. So, we’re doing all of this, but we can’t even get along with EACH OTHER here. Who the fuck are we? We want to discover shit we’ve never discovered before, out in space, spending trillions of dollars to do it, while we have one of the worst economies in our history going on right now. Families are starving, but we can send astronauts to Mars. I call bullshit.

We’ve also never discovered all of the shit going on with our own planet. What’s at the very bottom of the oceans? We don’t know. But I bet it costs less to find that out than it does to send men to Mars. And the shit we find at the bottom of our own oceans will be alien to us. Personally, I’d rather know what I’m living with than what’s going on billions of miles away. Seriously, I love finding out about outer space. It’s awesome shit, but unless it’s a planet that’s going to land on my house from some far away galaxy, I really don’t give a shit. Let me know what monsters lurk at the bottom of the ocean that could potentially crawl out of it and eat me. That’s what I want to know about.

Never mind all of that, how about we work on something that is totally alien to mankind… world peace. Once we accomplish that, THEN let’s go look for shit elsewhere. I’d love to see world peace. I mean, as much as I bitch and love to do so, I would like to say that in my lifetime I saw the world come together as one and there was no problems anywhere in the world. Even if it only lasted a week, what a great week that would be.

But as long as there are bigots and racist assholes living amongst us, there will never be peace. As long as the United States government has any kind of power, there will never be peace. As long as people in powerful positions have their own personal agendas, there will never be peace. Ever.

So, let’s continue to fly our ships millions of miles away, and study those things that, while interesting don’t really do those of us on this planet any bit of good, and let’s continue to spend billions and trillions of dollars doing so while children in our own country, on our own streets, in our own backyards, starve and have no clothing or even places to sleep.