Gotta Love Those Cincinnati Piñata’s!

My wife’s second-cousin is turning 5 years old next month and she has planned to have his birthday party at our house. Thinking back to Easter last year she decided that getting him a piñata would be a cool move. Kids love those things. Hell, I love those things. A bunch of people standing around a defenseless paper animal, beating the hell out of it with a stick until its insides come spewing out and the children laugh and play in its entrails. Awesome.

So she gets online to look them up. She does a Google search for places in our area that sell them and searches for “cincinnati pinata”. One of the first links that came up took her to Urban Dictionary, and this is what she read. WARNING (as if I give a fuck): Sexual conduct ahead, viewer discretion is advised.

1.Cincinnati pinata
Is the act of after having sex, the male taking off the condom and while holding the opening, or rolled up part, putting the reservoir tip end in the womans mouth and she sucks on the condom until it breaks due to negative pressure, releasing its contents in a fast rush. This practice has been abandoned due to the high potential for aspiration of the condom causing death by asphyxiation!

That is SO awesome. I can’t believe I’ve never heard of it, but I can tell you that I’m proud that it’s named after the city I call home. I congratulate the man, or woman, who came up with this. And now, for the win, a comment on the article…

“Dude, my girlfriend has been so good this week, i decided to let her have a treat last night, so i gave her a Cincinnati pinata! She loves it! She can only have one when she has been good though!”

Only when she’s been good. God that’s awesome.

Oh, follow up. After visiting Party City’s website she decided to go with a Spider-man piñata. As if any of you cared after the awesomeness of the Cincinnati Piñata. I just didn’t want to leave any cliff hangers.

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