Carved: The Slit-Mouthed Woman

The other day I watched this movie on Netflix called Carved: The Slit-Mouthed Woman. When it started, I was reluctant to continue. It’s a recent movie, 2007, but the very second it starts I feel like I’m watching a 1970’s low budget Japanese flick on a Sunday matinée.

Then I find out it’s subtitled, so now I know I’m going to have to fucking read through the whole thing. If I wanted to read, I wouldn’t be watching a fucking movie.

One thing that was awesome right off the line was, everybody is talking about Slitty, and how she kidnaps and then kills the local kiddies and how you should never speak her name. The entire script for the movie revolves around Slitty. There’s no filler bullshit, no unimportant or unneeded plot or story. They get right down to the point, there’s a hot little Japanese chick with a fucked up grill capturing kids and killing them. Awesome, it’s about time SOMEBODY did.

Then Slitty makes her first appearance, rather quickly in the movie. Once again, a good thing. No bullshit, no waiting around for 45 fucking minutes until you actually get to see anything good, like with “classic” horror movie “Halloween”, one of my least favorite movies of all time. I know, I know, I’m an idiot I have no taste blah blah. Suck a cock. It sucks.

It’s a nice creepy showing until she opens her eyes. It’s eerie enough but it’s shot like a scene, again, from the 70’s. Kinda cheesy, but still on the creepy side.

Then she makes another appearance, just a minute after. And she looks nothing like herself. I’m a little confused, but after the scene I’m actually starting to be creeped out. It’s been a good long while since a movie has creeped me out. Believe it or not, the Paranormal Activity movies have been real good for creeping me out. Anyway…

Her next appearance and she has her mask removed revealing her face. Well done make-up/special effects pull this off nicely and her eyes shoot a chill through me again. But I’d still fuck her probably cause she’s a hot Japanese chick. Plus her mouth opens extra wide and I don’t necessarily see that as a bad thing.

Finally, they kill her. Or do they? I was actually surprised at her first death scene. Yes, her first. Turns out it’s a pretty damn good movie. Translated pretty badly but it’s acceptable. Check it out.

I give this movie 4 of 5 stars, with only a couple of little things keeping it from being perfect.

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