Bruce F’n Willis

I was going to write, and probably still will write, a blog about the Gods of the movies of today. But I couldn’t just put a small bit on this guy, he’s the top dog in a world of pups. Bruce Willis is a proven badass of every magnitude, can do no wrong, and he might just have the ability to change major things in peoples lives.

From his TV shows to his movies, interviews to public appearances, Walter Bruce Willis has become what many have tried to achieve in the past, a few have accomplished, but all bow to the man himself, Bruce Willis.

Never mind all of his greatness for just a moment, I’m going to target a special point in his life, the Die Hard series. Forget everything else. If he had never done anything other than these movies, he would still rank extremely high in the world of living legends.

Yesterday and today I decided to watch the first three. I had seen the first two many many years ago, but it has been awhile and I couldn’t really remember them completely, as I should, so I Netflixed them up and sat down with some beer to get in touch with my inner Willis.

The first two were just as I had remembered, absolutely awesome with many explosions and much death. Just my kind of movie. Add in all of the witty shit Willis says and you have the makings of a seizure inducing man-fest where we are force fed a dose of astounding badassness that the weak can’t survive.

I watched the third today for the first time ever and was so pumped at the end I blew up my house and several airplanes that were flying overhead with everyday household items I found laying around, just as John McClane would do.

I now have to wait for the most recent installment in this series to be delivered to me by the movie-monkeys inside Netflix’s warehouse. I hear it’s good, I can only imagine it would be because Bruce Willis is in it. That basically guarantees a hit. I don’t know why every movie doesn’t have Bruce Willis in it. Actually I do know, then there wouldn’t be any movie to be bad enough to make any of the others awesome. Because they’d all be awesome.

I could go off on all of the awesome actors who joined him in those first three movies, like Alan Rickman (Dogma, Quigley Down Under, Harry Potter 1-7, The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy), Samuel L. Jackson (Jackie Brown, Coming To America, Goodfellas, Juice, Jurassic Park, Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill Vol. 2, Snakes On A Plane, Iron Man 1-2, 1408), William Sadler (Tale’s From The Crypt: Demon Knight, The Shawshank Redemption, Bill And Ted’s Bogus Journey, The Green Mile), Bonnie Bedelia (Die Hard 1-2, Salem’s Lot, Needful Things), and quite a few others I just didn’t feel like listing.

I could also go off on all of his own awesome flicks, like Hudson Hawk, The Last Boyscout, Death Becomes Her, National Lampoon’s Loaded Weapon 1, Pulp Fiction (with buddy Samuel L. Jackson), Four Rooms, Twelve Monkeys, Beavis And Butt-head Do America, The Fifth Element, The Sixth Sense, Armageddon, The Whole Nine/Ten Yards, Unbreakable (again with SLJ), Ocean’s Twelve, Sin City, Grindhouse or The Expendables, but I won’t.

I will say this, Expendables 2 is slated for 2012 and… AND… Die Hard 24/7, shooting is to begin in 2011 and Willis would like to see a final, part 6 done before John McClane retires for good. That’s right, Die Hard Part 5, 24/7 should be out by next year.

WOOHOO! All of this is so exciting and Bruce Willis is the fucking man. And about what I said earlier, about how he might just have the ability to change major things in peoples lives… Bruce Willis is so awesome that I think if he were gay, I’d let him fuck me in the ass. I wouldn’t say that for just anybody. I wouldn’t even allow it to happen for just anybody. Bruce Willis, Samuel L. Jackson, Angus Young, and that should about do it.

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